IGCSE/GCSE/O & A Level/IB/University Student Forum
Teachers and Students => Debates => Topic started by: The Golden Girl =D on March 24, 2012, 07:56:04 pm
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Salam /Hola Everyone =D
I want everyone to participate in this cuz I want to know different perspective regarding the matter which makes it more beneficial than me just discussing it with my friends for example ;)
I want to know those who took advantage of you , those who stabbed your back by backbiting you ,those who made you even doubt yourself ..etc How do you treat these people ? especially if you can't avoid them at all ?
And if someone developed some kind of 'Fear of NEW friendship" cuz He/She is scared of "getting hurt and having to go through the Same pain all OVER again" kind of mentality ? How do people with such ways of thinking CHANGE their thinking in order to live a Happy life full of Doubts NO MORE !
I'd love to listen to what you people have to say so please do the honor of the talking :)
Jazakom Allah khair/Thanks in Advance =D
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Hurt them back.. Revenge is sweet, and slow.
If someone takes advantage of you, then it's your fault, you let him/her do it.
anddddd
And if someone developed some kind of 'Fear of NEW friendship" cuz He/She is scared of "getting hurt and having to go through the Same pain all OVER again" kind of mentality
relationships rather...
That's a different story.
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Interesting topic. Something which most of us have experienced in life.
Like you said, it's all about matter of perspective. Each of us will look and take things in our own ways.
In my opinion, there is always ups and downs in friendships. We tend to have those little fights with our friends but then we mend and get back together.
But as for those who back-stab/backbite/hurt us in the worst possible way - they are not even our friends.
"If a friend envies you, then he is not a true friend." - Imam Ali (AS)
Life is a lesson. We learn from it - from the good and from the bad that afflicts us. As a human being, I don't like to keep grudges. I tend to forgive and forget, but that's just me - I know many who wouldn't agree. Life is a merely a lesson, we learn from our mistakes. It makes us more wise and mature in terms of knowing who's your friend and who's not. The hardships and difficulties of life had made me stronger and move on rather than put me down because I know for a fact that people come and go but my Lord is always with me. He is there for me when no one else is. And, for me ... my Lord is enough -this is how I look at it.
"Verily with hardship comes ease." - (Quran 94:6)
"And grieve not over them, and be not distressed because of what they plot." - (Quran 16:127)
PS- what goes around comes back around. ;)
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I help them when they need help-- and this is enough to prove that they have not been able to change who I am.
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I help them when they need help-- and this is enough to prove that they have not been able to change who I am.
Exactly. (Y)
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Exactly. (Y)
I liked yours too. :)
If all so-called 'enemies' thought similar, life here would be Jannah. Honestly. :)
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and how to overcome fear of NEW friendship?
Friendship isn't 'made'. It just happens. True friendship.
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I liked yours too. :)
If all so-called 'enemies' thought similar, life here would be Jannah. Honestly. :)
Thank you, dear. <3
There's a saying ... don't remember the exact source to it:
"Paradise is surrounded by hardship and difficulties while Hell is surrounded by pleasure and desires."
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Salam /Hola Everyone =D
I want everyone to participate in this cuz I want to know different perspective regarding the matter which makes it more beneficial than me just discussing it with my friends for example ;)
I want to know those who took advantage of you , those who stabbed your back by backbiting you ,those who made you even doubt yourself ..etc How do you treat these people ? especially if you can't avoid them at all ?
And if someone developed some kind of 'Fear of NEW friendship" cuz He/She is scared of "getting hurt and having to go through the Same pain all OVER again" kind of mentality ? How do people with such ways of thinking CHANGE their thinking in order to live a Happy life full of Doubts NO MORE !
I'd love to listen to what you people have to say so please do the honor of the talking :)
Jazakom Allah khair/Thanks in Advance =D
Hmm... Umm... this may be strange, but I pray to God for their destruction, citing their betrayal to me.
To overcome the fear of new friendship, just let loose, go and start talking to them and they will eventually become friends.
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Hmm... Umm... this may be strange, but I pray to God for their destruction, citing their betrayal to me.
To overcome the fear of new friendship, just let loose, go and start talking to them and they will eventually become friends.
Pray for destruction ? :o
(http://angrybirdsgamer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/com.rovio_.angrybirds_icon.png)
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Pray for destruction ? :o
(http://angrybirdsgamer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/com.rovio_.angrybirds_icon.png)
LOL, yeah, I don't take genuine betrayals lightly...
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Pray for destruction ? :o
(http://angrybirdsgamer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/com.rovio_.angrybirds_icon.png)
Such a prayer isn't accepted.
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Such a prayer isn't accepted.
Actually, this is the thing everyone should do.
".....Beware of the supplication of the oppressed for there is no barrier between him and Allah......" - Prohpet (pbuh)
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Actually, this is the thing everyone should do.
".....Beware of the supplication of the oppressed for there is no barrier between him and Allah......" - Prohpet (pbuh)
Are you oppressed? -.-
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Actually, this is the thing everyone should do.
".....Beware of the supplication of the oppressed for there is no barrier between him and Allah......" - Prohpet (pbuh)
Being betrayed doesn't necessarily mean your being oppressed.
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Being betrayed doesn't necessarily mean your being oppressed.
Exactly.
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Are you oppressed? -.-
It depends on the extent to which i was betrayed. anyway to each their own.
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SE : I do wish that but then I start thinking that one day they might realize their wrong doings and repent so I forgive them for not only that but for ME as well so that I get rid off the fire in my heart that keeps burning the tissues of my heart .. never mind the details LOL XD
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People hurt you. 3 possibilities:
1) They hurt you deliberately.
2) They hurt you involuntarily.
3) You think they hurt you when in fact they didn't.
And there is only one morale to retain:
Whichever of the 3 possibilities has taught you something.
Your role on Earth is just to grab the lesson and move on. Bad happens to everyone. But you shouldn't imitate it. Don't become what you hate.
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Ever wondered how would a life be without hurt, betrayal, anger, frustration, injustice?
1) I'm not going to be held accountable for what others did to me, I'm going to be asked on how I reacted to them. I'm going to be my normal self, indifferent to what they had done to me.
What are we going to get by revenge? Satisfaction? For how long? If you hurt those who hurt you, then what would be the difference between you and the villain?
2) Life will teach you one thing again and again. Never put complete faith on a fellow human, man is bound to err... (this goes towards religion but) you have only two friends "Allah, and those who remind you of Allah" These are the friendships that'll seldom hurt and last forever.
Actually, this is the thing everyone should do.
".....Beware of the supplication of the oppressed for there is no barrier between him and Allah......" - Prohpet (pbuh)
Dont you remember what the Prophet (saw) did when he went back from Madinah to Makkah and faced the oppressors again?
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I think that when we humans can dare to do things against Allah, and His Deen, Islam and yet he forgives, then we are just merely humans and we should forgive everyone. I don't like grudges...and these days I am listening to this Duroos about our Prophet SAW and Allah, what he faced in his life in the beginning of Islam...I cried so much and felt so scared, thought I'd almost get sick. He was fighting for the truth and he still forgave, I am sure no one, at least not in today's world, we face anything as difficult as it was back then. If they were so great, then we should definitely learn from them and try to forgive and forget.
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Well said M-H :)
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Salam /Hola Everyone =D
I want everyone to participate in this cuz I want to know different perspective regarding the matter which makes it more beneficial than me just discussing it with my friends for example ;)
I want to know those who took advantage of you , those who stabbed your back by backbiting you ,those who made you even doubt yourself ..etc How do you treat these people ? especially if you can't avoid them at all ?
And if someone developed some kind of 'Fear of NEW friendship" cuz He/She is scared of "getting hurt and having to go through the Same pain all OVER again" kind of mentality ? How do people with such ways of thinking CHANGE their thinking in order to live a Happy life full of Doubts NO MORE !
I'd love to listen to what you people have to say so please do the honor of the talking :)
Jazakom Allah khair/Thanks in Advance =D
wasalam.. :)
as you want everyone to reply so ere i am too GG! :D
as others said, these are circumstances which everyone face in their life at some point in time. you simply can avoid people coming IN your life. as we socialize we do face all sort of people. its simply up to us, whom to let us in our life and whom to show an exit way..
similarly, we make friends on our own, depending on us .. what made us be close with them and why.. once they are your friends you gotta know are they just showing off, for the sake of or real ones.
real ones are real ones no matter what.. even if you meet them after years they'll be the same.. where as others are just temporarily.. and if they hurt you, stab you .. it doesn't matter to them.. sometimes they find all these sorta reasons and ways to leave you..
but some times as you said how to treat when you cant simply avoid them even.. this is the real tough one to handle .. because some times you cant say it on their face or punch them ... personally, i think to accept such a situation is the way out instead being frustrated and make your life hell just because of them... accept that yes they are like this!! and then try to leave them silently, ignore, or if they are willing then let them realize what they did. if you'll betray them, backstab, hurt etc then remember there is no difference between you and them then.
however, this is the very last step.. if you are not sure then dont let them so close to you or give them a chance to be with you like this.. people are sometimes (sometimes due to their circumstances) can be selfish to you ;)
and this is how you can over come the fear.. you cant simply stop socializing as human is a social animal...
p.s, i also agree with what romeesa-chan, ameila, .... said
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How to treat those who hurt me?
I move on unless its by a best friend in which case i would be devastated and expect him/her to come clean and apologize :(
to overcome fear? get off face book