IGCSE/GCSE/O & A Level/IB/University Student Forum
Teachers and Students => Debates => Topic started by: Alpha on November 19, 2010, 06:41:41 am
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If people are misusing it, should it be a lawful right?
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Give me an example of how it is misused. Just so that I know what were talking about.
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Give me an example of how it is misused. Just so that I know what were talking about.
Some people, in backward societies, who are still stuck to old traditions, marry and divorce as often as it rains in the Amazon. ::)
It's like, a one-night business. The wives are given money, in exchange of a divorce. Prostitution in disguise.
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Some people, in backward societies, who are still stuck to old traditions, marry and divorce as often as it rains in the Amazon. ::)
It's like, a one-night business. The wives are given money, in exchange of a divorce. Prostitution in disguise.
Still, those people represent a minority. In addition if we look at the larger picture most divorces are undertaken for VERY good reasons.
By eliminating this right, so-to-speak, you could cause many innocent people grievous harm.
For example, if your hypothetical husband were to abuse you and your children you would obviously desire a divorce.
If the right to divorce were to be waived then you would continue to face such abuse.....
Thus, no, I believe the right to divorce is a fundamental idea that every man and woman should have. If they misuse they will be caught in the end.
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Still, those people represent a minority. In addition if we look at the larger picture most divorces are undertaken for VERY good reasons.
By eliminating this right, so-to-speak, you could cause many innocent people grievous harm.
For example, if your hypothetical husband were to abuse you and your children you would obviously desire a divorce.
If the right to divorce were to be waived then you would continue to face such abuse.....
Thus, no, I believe the right to divorce is a fundamental idea that every man and woman should have. If they misuse they will be caught in the end.
But if people are going to be deprived of the right to divorce, would they not then be more careful about their selection of partners?
Don't you think now people are being hasty with the marriage issue?
After all, it is a commitment.
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But if people are going to be deprived of the right to divorce, would they not then be more careful about their selection of partners?
Don't you think now people are being hasty with the marriage issue?
After all, it is a commitment.
People make wrong choices in life, we all need a second chance.
Though it is a commitment we must realise that many people till today have forced marriages. Having a divorce in a western country may be the only hope in such cases.
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People make wrong choices in life, we all need a second chance.
Though it is a commitment we must realise that many people till today have forced marriages. Having a divorce in a western country may be the only hope in such cases.
And why not Eastern? ;)
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Divorce offers flexibility (eg in case the hubby is a wife beater or not so good). Of course it should be legal.
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Divorce offers flexibility (eg in case the hubby is a wife beater or not so good). Of course it should be legal.
Flexibility, or too much flexibility? (:
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the kid's point of you . I think it's really a pity since the kids are torn apart ,they're like torn to go with their mom and then dad . A kid with a divorced parents , it's really hard on the kid to be honest but if there is a judge that'll be giving the Children the CARE that they need what I believe is the it should be Legal .
In the parents' point of View , Some parents ,if they continue to live with each other are just going to ruin each other'e lives for example those who beat their spouse then It'll definitely be a CRIME for Divorce NOT to be Legalized for such a couple .
But as for what Alpha said at the Beginning, I have heard of such situations for REAL Unfortunately ,It saddens me to be honest but After ALL why deprive a WHOLE nation just because a few people Misuse something .
That's All.
A judge cannot replace a mother and father.
I'll get back later.
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it a man or woman's born right to choose wheather to live with the person or not and if doesnt want than no legal power cn stop him or her
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it a man or woman's born right to choose wheather to live with the person or not and if doesnt want than no legal power cn stop him or her
I wanna kill people I don't wanna see walking on Earth. Can any legal power stop me?
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Flexibility, or too much flexibility? (:
Okay, imagine yourself to be married to a worthless hubby who has an extramarital affair with another woman. Wouldn't you like to divorce him after you discover this? ::)
And through divorce, you can leave a husband as you wish. And hence the flexibility, which is very necessary for everyone to live happily. ;)
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Okay, imagine yourself to be married to a worthless hubby who has an extramarital affair with another woman. Wouldn't you like to divorce him after you discover this? ::)
And through divorce, you can leave a husband as you wish. And hence the flexibility, which is very necessary for everyone to live happily. ;)
*Ahem*
Okay, so if my hypothetical husband is "worthless", as a dutiful and responsible wife, it's part of my role to transform him into a worthy person. And about the extramarital affair, I'll just kill off the other woman, and call it "self defence" in court. ::)
Now, let us come to you. :P
To your common language: you know when a man divorces a woman, both get half of the property and everything else. How many times are you going to divorce and remarry? You will be a pauper by the end of your 50's due to "flexibility". ::)
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I wanna kill people I don't wanna see walking on Earth. Can any legal power stop me?
The world will stop you. :P
Divorces should be legal. I mean how can a person spend his/her whole life with someone whom she doesn't want.
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The world will stop you. :P
Divorces should be legal. I mean how can a person spend his/her whole life with someone whom she doesn't want.
WHY should a person marry someone he or she doesn't want to spend his or her whole life with?
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WHY should a person marry someone he or she doesn't want to spend his or her whole life with?
Do humans make mistakes?
Consider that after some time a person may think that I want to split up then?
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Do humans make mistakes?
Consider that after some time a person may think that I want to split up then?
And then you realise that by mistake you had a child? You will throw the mistake where? In the bin?
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And then you realise that by mistake you had a child? You will throw the mistake where? In the bin?
That is the legal fight for whom to take the custody of child?
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That is the legal fight for whom to take the custody of child?
Who will take? ::)
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Who will take? ::)
Its not me and you who will decide or will take, jk. :P
The society and parents will decide.
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Its not me and you who will decide or will take, jk. :P
The society and parents will decide.
That was rhetoric question boy. :P
Many people want to be free of the boredom of having to raise up children so that they can start life anew.
The poor innocent ones should suffer because of a "mistake"?
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That was rhetoric question boy. :P
Many people want to be free of the boredom of having to raise up children so that they can start life anew.
The poor innocent ones should suffer because of a "mistake"?
BAD LUCK. :(
Somebody is expected to take and they cannot leave the child. This is what most rules say.
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BAD LUCK. :(
Somebody is expected to take and they cannot leave the child. This is what most rules say.
Someone is anyone. A rapist, a child trader, a paedophile.
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Someone is anyone. A rapist, a child trader, a paedophile.
I meant someone from family, not these ones.
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I meant someone from family, not these ones.
And if no one from the family wants to?
Everybody isn't Mother Teresa.
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And if no one from the family wants to?
Everybody isn't Mother Teresa.
Unfortunately Orphanage if the orphanage allows.
Then the life is ruined.
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Unfortunately Orphanage if the orphanage allows.
Then the life is ruined.
I need not say more.
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I need not say more.
Actually you should not say more because that's the END.
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Actually you should not say more because that's the END.
The end of a life, not of the debate. ;)
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The end of a life, not of the debate. ;)
Apparently True. 8)
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*Ahem*
Okay, so if my hypothetical husband is "worthless", as a dutiful and responsible wife, it's part of my role to transform him into a worthy person.
Typical response from someone who watches too many hindi telefilms/soap operas. ::) :P
Its not as easy as it seems. ;)
And about the extramarital affair, I'll just kill off the other woman, and call it "self defence" in court.
You'll get a long jail sentence/get an execution sentence. Result: You lose your hubby. :P
Wouldn't it be better if you just legally divorced him without getting into all these hassle? ::)
To your common language: you know when a man divorces a woman, both get half of the property and everything else. How many times are you going to divorce and remarry? You will be a pauper by the end of your 50's due to "flexibility".
By the word 'flexibility', I do not mean to say that you are free to divorce as you wish. What I mean is it allows you to leave your partner if he is not fit. (eg. extramarital affair :P )
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Typical response from someone who watches too many hindi telefilms/soap operas. ::) :P
Lol. ::)
On the contrary, were it up to me, I would have completely banned those gossip-box-type soap operas and charged the directors with capital punishment. :P
Its not as easy as it seems. ;)
And that is supposed to make me retract? ;)
You'll get a long jail sentence/get an execution sentence. Result: You lose your hubby. :P
Wouldn't it be better if you just legally divorced him without getting into all these hassle? ::)
"Self-defence". I'm a rational criminal. 8) ::)
By the word 'flexibility', I do not mean to say that you are free to divorce as you wish. What I mean is it allows you to leave your partner if he is not fit. (eg. extramarital affair :P )
You are constantly using the same dart. :P
I asked something too, in return. :P
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Lol. ::)
On the contrary, were it up to me, I would have completely banned those gossip-box-type soap operas and charged the directors with capital punishment. :P
And would regret later on. :P
And that is supposed to make me retract?
It will. :P
Words are easy.
"Self-defence". I'm a rational criminal.
The court won't recognise it that way.
You're jealous. :P
You are constantly using the same dart.
I asked something too, in return.
About the property, you can always appeal on court about the harm your wiffey has done to you, so that the alimony gets lesser.
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And would regret later on. :P
No, I don't have so much time now. :P
It will. :P
Words are easy.
It's you who says. ::)
The court won't recognise it that way.
You're jealous. :P
The court commutes a sentence made in self-defence.
Jealous? And of what? :P
Rather, protective.
About the property, you can always appeal on court about the harm your wiffey has done to you, so that the alimony gets lesser.
Same about my sentence. ::)
What if it's you who's harmed her?
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The court commutes a sentence made in self-defence.
Your hubby will have a better case and thus, has a higher chance of getting you in jail. :P By putting you in a murder case of his to-be wife. Because it is abnormal that the wife will murder the woman her husband has an affair with. :P Divorce is a better recognized solution.
Jealous? And of what?
Rather, protective.
If you really, love :P , your precious future hubby, you will want his good. He will feel better if he is married with the woman he has an affair with, rather than you. ::) If you, after all, love him, how can you be so cruel so as to kill the other woman and cause him grief? Jealousy. :P
What if it's you who's harmed her?
Depends on whether she is interested in filing a case against me. :P
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Your hubby will have a better case and thus, has a higher chance of getting you in jail. :P By putting you in a murder case of his to-be wife. Because it is abnormal that the wife will murder the woman her husband has an affair with. :P Divorce is a better recognized solution.
But it is very likely that a concubine would want to get rid of her lover's wife. I won't have a weak case either. Believe me. :P
If you really, love :P , your precious future hubby, you will want his good. He will feel better if he is married with the woman he has an affair with, rather than you. ::) If you, after all, love him, how can you be so cruel so as to kill the other woman and cause him grief? Jealousy. :P
Okay, if he will be happier with someone else, then I would let go. :)
Depends on whether she is interested in filing a case against me. :P
Why wouldn't she, if you harm her? :P
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Okay, if he will be happier with someone else, then I would let go. :)
Now you're back on track. :P :P
Why wouldn't she, if you harm her?
Trust me, SHE wouldn't. :P
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Now you're back on track. :P :P
Yeah, and I would have wasted my life. :)
Trust me, SHE wouldn't. :P
I'm amazed. :P
How can you be so sure? :P It depends on her, not you.
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I'm amazed. :P
How can you be so sure? :P It depends on her, not you.
Okay, I "harm" her. Give me some examples on how could I possibly? (Leaving out physical punishment)
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Okay, I "harm" her. Give me some examples on how could I possibly? (Leaving out physical punishment)
Physical abuse should be taken into account too. Who knows. ;)
Ok, so if you're having an extramarital affair, you can be charged for emotional harassment, infidelity, promiscuity, you're not trust-worthy, irresponsibility, etc. ::)
You can be planning her murder. You can have her made handicapped. You can damage her organs. You can drive her mad/ blind/ dumb/ paralyzed. So many ways to harm. :P
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Physical abuse should be taken into account too. Who knows. ;)
Ok, so if you're having an extramarital affair, you can be charged for emotional harassment, infidelity, promiscuity, you're not trust-worthy, irresponsibility, etc. ::)
You can be planning her murder. You can have her made handicapped. You can damage her organs. You can drive her mad/ blind/ dumb/ paralyzed. So many ways to harm. :P
Make these to do from someone, then use lawyer if you are in court. So many ways to sneak off through police. :P
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oops to much to read ! so might just put in my opinion :P
obv it shld be legal ! divorce is equal to freedom of speech ! wld u have any1z freedom of speech taken away !
same way freedom or choosing the partner or leaving the partner cnt be taken away
n supp divorces were nt allowed ppl wld just stay separately ! n later may b one or the partner becomes revengeful n files a case 4 taking away stuff frm the other then who is to be blamed
or if a person chooses some other partner later in life n wants to marry him/her it wld b illegal then !
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Ok, so if you're having an extramarital affair, .........
Ewwwwwww! :P ::)
Make these to do from someone, then use lawyer if you are in court. So many ways to sneak off through police.
Exactly. ;D
or if a person chooses some other partner later in life n wants to marry him/her it wld b illegal then !
Divorce is not meant to cater for some sudden urge :P to marry someone else. ::)
It is meant to offer flexibility to the partners, in case of a plausible reason (eg. One of them dies, wife-beater hubby, Hubby beater wife :P , extramarital affair etc )
same way freedom or choosing the partner or leaving the partner cnt be taken away
Freedom of leaving the partner without any plausible reason : This does not really fall into the freedom of speech category. Marriage is not a two day game. :P
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Make these to do from someone, then use lawyer if you are in court. So many ways to sneak off through police. :P
That depends on the police. ;)
Ewwwwwww! :P ::)
In humankind's simple English, what does that mean? :P
Divorce is not meant to cater for some sudden urge :P to marry someone else. ::)
Freedom of leaving the partner without any plausible reason : This does not really fall into the freedom of speech category. Marriage is not a two day game. :P
You stole my words. :o
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That depends on the police. ;)
In humankind's simple English, what does that mean? :P
Sense of dislike/disgust. ::)
You stole my words.
;D ;D
But I'm not sarcastic. :P
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Sense of dislike/disgust. ::)
??? Then, why so keen about getting divorce legal? I thought you were planning to marry every month. :P :D
;D ;D
But I'm not sarcastic. :P
I'm not always sarcastic. ::)
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??? Then, why so keen about getting divorce legal? I thought you were planning to marry every month. :P :D
Because it allows flexibility in case of special circumstances in front of the legal system. Special circumstances may include difficulty in adjustment, physical abuse, extramarital affair etc.
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Ewwwwwww! :P ::)
Divorce is not meant to cater for some sudden urge :P to marry someone else. ::)
It is meant to offer flexibility to the partners, in case of a plausible reason (eg. One of them dies, wife-beater hubby, Hubby beater wife :P , extramarital affair etc )
Freedom of leaving the partner without any plausible reason : This does not really fall into the freedom of speech category. Marriage is not a two day game. :P
oh i meant the same nobody said that marriage is a game !
and on the highlighted part ! i said if the marriages failed n divorces were not allowed n ppl just stayed separately with out divorce ! they can never move forward in their life i.e. marry some 1 else later on
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Because it allows flexibility in case of special circumstances in front of the legal system. Special circumstances may include difficulty in adjustment, physical abuse, extramarital affair etc.
And if you have a child?
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And if you have a child?
Then the child can easily live with one of the parents and sometimes go to see the other one. Better than watching his/her parents quarrel everyday. ;)
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Then the child can easily live with one of the parents and sometimes go to see the other one. Better than watching his/her parents quarrel everyday. ;)
Ironically enough, parents tend to fight more for the child. Divorce then, doesn't help, it worsens already hard times. ;)
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Ironically enough, parents tend to fight more for the child. Divorce then, doesn't help, it worsens already hard times. ;)
Nope. They fight when one of them tries to assert their superiority over the other. ;)
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Ironically enough, parents tend to fight more for the child. Divorce then, doesn't help, it worsens already hard times. ;)
Parents fight when they are not in harmony. When one of them tries to take over or something like that.
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Parents fight when they are not in harmony. When one of them tries to take over or something like that.
Nope. They fight when one of them tries to assert their superiority over the other. ;)
Exactly, and because of ego, they will end up fighting more.
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So its better that they separate.
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So its better that they separate.
For the child who will become a tug of war? (:
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Exactly, and because of ego, they will end up fighting more.
A child, watching both of his/her parents fighting all the time, is liable to be mentally traumatised.
Its a much more peaceful solution if the child lives with one of the parents, after a divorce and pays weekly visit to the other.
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A child, watching both of his/her parents fighting all the time, is liable to be mentally traumatised.
Its a much more peaceful solution if the child lives with one of the parents, after a divorce and pays weekly visit to the other.
A child will be mentally traumatized watching his parents fight rather than feeling the lack of one of them is your value judgement.
Many people try to make up by "paying visits", it doesn't work for the majority.
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A child will be mentally traumatized watching his parents fight rather than feeling the lack of one of them is your value judgement.
Yes. Of course watching parents fight is more traumatising than living with only one.
Many people try to make up by "paying visits", it doesn't work for the majority.
Of course, it wouldn't work for everyone. But the model of divorce assumes that it does work and should. Anyway, you don't have any statistics to claim it doesn;t work. ;)
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Yes. Of course watching parents fight is more traumatising than living with only one.
Of course, it wouldn't work for everyone. But the model of divorce assumes that it does work and should. Anyway, you don't have any statistics to claim it doesn;t work. ;)
http://parenting247.org/article.cfm?ContentID=646
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If I want, I can quote counter-sources too, but just for the discussion's sake, lets assume that divorce is illegal.
Now how would the problem between couples who cannot adjust, be solved? Any better solution than divorce?
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If I want, I can quote counter-sources too, but just for the discussion's sake, lets assume that divorce is illegal.
Now how would the problem between couples who cannot adjust, be solved? Any better solution than divorce?
Name the problems? Maybe we can give a try. ;)
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Name the problems? Maybe we can give a try. ;)
Extramarital affair, the first one. Any solution than divorce?
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wow alpha u got that ! :o :o
but any day dont u think so its beeter for children stay with one loving parent than staying with parents who fight everyday for evary small thing
child doent have peace of mind with all the shouting n thrashing going around and parents r least bothered abt the child because they are too frustrated n worst of all the easiest way the parents can take of their anger is on the child cuz the child cant not hit back
now what do u think ! ?
i have friend whoz parents are divorced n frnd whoz parents din get a divorce b cuz of the child
n trust me the child with the divorced is much more happier and has a peace of mind
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wow alpha u got that ! :o :o
but any day dont u think so its beeter for children stay with one loving parent than staying with parents who fight everyday for evary small thing
child doent have peace of mind with all the shouting n thrashing going around and parents r least bothered abt the child because they are too frustrated n worst of all the easiest way the parents can take of their anger is on the child cuz the child cant not hit back
now what do u think ! ?
i have friend whoz parents are divorced n frnd whoz parents din get a divorce b cuz of the child
n trust me the child with the divorced is much more happier and has a peace of mind
Yes. THat's my point. Its relatively better to live with one parent (and miss the other, or pay weekly visits), than watching the two quarrel everyday.
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Extramarital affair, the first one. Any solution than divorce?
Extramarital affair, because of what? There are many reasons leading to extramarital affairs.
wow alpha u got that ! :o :o
but any day dont u think so its beeter for children stay with one loving parent than staying with parents who fight everyday for evary small thing
child doent have peace of mind with all the shouting n thrashing going around and parents r least bothered abt the child because they are too frustrated n worst of all the easiest way the parents can take of their anger is on the child cuz the child cant not hit back
now what do u think ! ?
i have friend whoz parents are divorced n frnd whoz parents din get a divorce b cuz of the child
n trust me the child with the divorced is much more happier and has a peace of mind
In bold: What says they cannot encounter these problems living with a single parent?
Do you, really think single parents are "happy"?
I've seen women becoming prostitutes because of that. Men becoming alcoholics, social outcasts.
In Italics: By the way, I have friends too. ;)
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Extramarital affair, because of what? There are many reasons leading to extramarital affairs.
Just face it: You're trying to complicate a simple issue whose solution is simple - Divorce. (no matter the 'type')
In bold: What says they cannot encounter these problems living with a single parent?
Do you, really think single parents are "happy"?
SIngle parents are happier because they don't quarrel with each other.
I've seen women becoming prostitutes because of that. Men becoming alcoholics, social outcasts.
That's a very minority.
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Just face it: You're trying to complicate a simple issue whose solution is simple - Divorce. (no matter the 'type')
Primo, it is not a simple issue. And the solution you gave is the extreme one, it isn't simple either.
Okay, if you don't want to elaborate, I can't say anything more either.
SIngle parents are happier because they don't quarrel with each other.
That's a very minority.
Who said they don't quarrel? Prove it with statistics.
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Extramarital affair, because of what? There are many reasons leading to extramarital affairs.
In bold: What says they cannot encounter these problems living with a single parent?
Do you, really think single parents are "happy"?
I've seen women becoming prostitutes because of that. Men becoming alcoholics, social outcasts.
In Italics: By the way, I have friends too. ;)
i cnt assure they wld b happier but atleat they wont be in as pathetic state as they wld b in they r shouting n thrashing each other daily !
ohkie n abt the thingi they do later on u cnt really count on every singel parent to do that !
not every single mother goes into prostitution ! they might as well find a good job n live her life ahead !
n if the single dad becomes a alcoholic then what is the guaranty he might not become one cuz of the fights n pressure at home ! ??
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Primo, it is not a simple issue. And the solution you gave is the extreme one, it isn't simple either.
Name one alternative solution please. You are going bla bla bla without naming any alternative solution till now.
Who said they don't quarrel? Prove it with statistics.
At least they don't have the opportunity to quarrel, as they would have if they lived together.
I wonder why do I have to point every single thing to you. Its common sense.
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Name one alternative solution please. You are going bla bla bla without naming any alternative solution till now.
Listen, let us take the case for oldies or middle-aged people. Both the woman and the man experience hormonal changes that are in contradiction to the opposite sex when they're in their middle ages. That can be one reason causing individuals to think their partners no longer understand them/ are avoiding them/ no longer need them/ bla bla bla.
The rest, later.
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alpha thats no solution !
even if they r going under hormonal changes n want to divorce their partner rather than fight n kill them whats the matter !
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alpha thats no solution !
even if they r going under hormonal changes n want to divorce their partner rather than fight n kill them whats the matter !
These hormonal changes are not for ever, but it's stupid to allow them leave a permanent effect on one's psychology.
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Listen, let us take the case for oldies or middle-aged people. Both the woman and the man experience hormonal changes that are in contradiction to the opposite sex when they're in their middle ages. That can be one reason causing individuals to think their partners no longer understand them/ are avoiding them/ no longer need them/ bla bla bla.
The rest, later.
Explain hormonal changes. And how can you possibly CONTROL those changes, so as to prevent divorce? Inject them with supplementary testosterone/estrogen? ::) They are harmful.
That was not a solution, to be direct. That was just a sidetracked reply, avoiding the keyword 'solution'. ;)
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By the way, hormonal changes don't occcur that abruptly as you said.
In teenage the sex drive gets higher. It peaks at 23 for men and 28 for women and gradually falls afterwards. You thus, cannot blame hormones for the natural, gradual decrease of sex drives. The chance of divorce because of this gradual decrease in sex drive is very less. If it were an abrupt decrease, then it would've been a good reason for feeling that the other partner is less attractive etc.
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haha i too think alpha is just filtering of the word solution :P
n more over some hormonal changes last for long ! n may b if later inlife the partners think they made a mistake n can b back together n both agree to 4 gt the past and move in together then its all fine !
at least it better than the idea of being under hormonal changes n spoiling each others lives
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haha i too think alpha is just filtering of the word solution :P
n more over some hormonal changes last for long ! n may b if later inlife the partners think they made a mistake n can b back together n both agree to 4 gt the past and move in together then its all fine !
at least it better than the idea of being under hormonal changes n spoiling each others lives
As I explained in my earlier post, hormonal changes is not the cause of quarrel between a husband and wife. These changes are gradual, not abrupt.
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i know that too stylish ! but i took a just in case and answered alpha's question ! :P
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How many people here come from 'broken' families ?
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Good point. more than 95% of families I've seen get along well. Some of the points raised earlier makes it seem as if divorces are very common.
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divorces r very common in the west but i think not in the places where v live !
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i cnt assure they wld b happier but atleat they wont be in as pathetic state as they wld b in they r shouting n thrashing each other daily !
There you go wrong. Some people have so much of ego issues that they can even go to the extent of killing their partners.
ohkie n abt the thingi they do later on u cnt really count on every singel parent to do that !
not every single mother goes into prostitution ! they might as well find a good job n live her life ahead !
n if the single dad becomes a alcoholic then what is the guaranty he might not become one cuz of the fights n pressure at home ! ??
Just like you can't count on every single parent who's already gone through lots of trouble to efficiently take care of his or her child.
At least they don't have the opportunity to quarrel, as they would have if they lived together.
Why wouldn't they? People fight everywhere, they don't even care about their surroundings. The streets, supermarkets, stations...
Explain hormonal changes. And how can you possibly CONTROL those changes, so as to prevent divorce? Inject them with supplementary testosterone/estrogen? ::) They are harmful.
That was not a solution, to be direct. That was just a sidetracked reply, avoiding the keyword 'solution'. ;)
Okay, true, they cannot control changes... but as I said, it comes with time and age. Just like puberty. It's a phase of life that once gone, won't come back. Menopause doesn't come again and again now, does it?
By the way, hormonal changes don't occcur that abruptly as you said.
In teenage the sex drive gets higher. It peaks at 23 for men and 28 for women and gradually falls afterwards. You thus, cannot blame hormones for the natural, gradual decrease of sex drives. The chance of divorce because of this gradual decrease in sex drive is very less. If it were an abrupt decrease, then it would've been a good reason for feeling that the other partner is less attractive etc.
I don't remember I mentioned "abruptly"... And sex drives get low for women during menopause, and high for men, during their middle ages. This is when women tend to neglect their husbands. And as goes the common saying, "if biryani is not cooked at home, buy it from outside". ::) They start having extra-marital affairs.
haha i too think alpha is just filtering of the word solution :P
n more over some hormonal changes last for long ! n may b if later inlife the partners think they made a mistake n can b back together n both agree to 4 gt the past and move in together then its all fine !
at least it better than the idea of being under hormonal changes n spoiling each others lives
And no, I'm NOT filtering any word.
Made a mistake? That they divorced?
Then, why make the mistake in the first place itself? ;)
By the way, divorce is a common play in Western countries, and if they are not popular yet in Eastern ones, at least, they are growing in numbers. All around the world.
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Why wouldn't they? People fight everywhere, they don't even care about their surroundings. The streets, supermarkets, stations...
I wanna ask you a question , but please don't be offended:
How many of your family members have 'fought' in public places like streets, supermarkets and stations? ::) I think the most probable answer will be None.
Those who fight in public places are uncivilized. And they are, fortunately, a minority.
Okay, true, they cannot control changes... but as I said, it comes with time and age. Just like puberty. It's a phase of life that once gone, won't come back. Menopause doesn't come again and again now, does it?
In my own observational estimate, the % of couples who divorce at the time of menopause is relatively less compared to the % of people divorcing within a few years of their marriage.
Anyway, by the time the woman reaches 45, the men will be around 50 and his would've been reduced by that time too. And also, after so many years of marriage, they would've developed a special bond. :P
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I wanna ask you a question , but please don't be offended:
How many of your family members have 'fought' in public places like streets, supermarkets and stations? ::) I think the most probable answer will be None.
Those who fight in public places are uncivilized. And they are, fortunately, a minority.
Should've asked how many I saw fight in public places. My friend witnessed a murder; a husband struck his wife with a knife 18 times because she was divorcing him.
In my own observational estimate, the % of couples who divorce at the time of menopause is relatively less compared to the % of people divorcing within a few years of their marriage.
In mine, the % of people having extra-marital affairs are far greater at their middle ages than within a few years of their marriages. The first few years of marriage is called the "Honeymoon phase". It's the time when everybody is happy; both husbands and wives enthusiastic about the idea of getting to know each other and start a new life together. It is later that they start having problems.
Anyway, by the time the woman reaches 45, the men will be around 50 and his would've been reduced by that time too. And also, after so many years of marriage, they would've developed a special bond. :P
Exactly, the time. Most women reach menopause at 40-50 now... and they find themselves with husbands at their middle ages too.
Yes, they would have developed a special bond. But just a few minutes can ruin everything. :)
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Should've asked how many I saw fight in public places. My friend witnessed a murder; a husband struck his wife with a knife 18 times because she was divorcing him.
In mine, the % of people having extra-marital affairs are far greater at their middle ages than within a few years of their marriages. The first few years of marriage is called the "Honeymoon phase". It's the time when everybody is happy; both husbands and wives enthusiastic about the idea of getting to know each other and start a new life together. It is later that they start having problems.
Exactly, the time. Most women reach menopause at 40-50 now... and they find themselves with husbands at their middle ages too.
Yes, they would have developed a special bond. But just a few minutes can ruin everything. :)
Wow. Bangladesh and Mauritius are so different. :P
Here, I've never seen any couple fighting in a public place. At least, not where I live. ;)
But still, what your friend noticed is a very rare occurance. Most people would never go to such extreme lengths.
I don't know about others. But here, if divorce occurs, it occurs within the first five years of marriage. Divorce occuring around menopause is very less. So, cant speak about others. ;)
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Wow. Bangladesh and Mauritius are so different. :P
Here, I've never seen any couple fighting in a public place. At least, not where I live. ;)
But still, what your friend noticed is a very rare occurance. Most people would never go to such extreme lengths.
I don't know about others. But here, if divorce occurs, it occurs within the first five years of marriage. Divorce occuring around menopause is very less. So, cant speak about others. ;)
Yup. Size doesn't matter.
I see couples fight everyday. Sometimes, it's cute. But sometimes, dreadening.
Nah, crimes of this sort are common in Mauritius. Ask King if you want to confirm. And read le Defi if you wanna check yourself. Our good patriots are bent on making Paradise Island little Matto Grosso. ::)
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Yup. Size doesn't matter.
I see couples fight everyday. Sometimes, it's cute. But sometimes, dreadening.
Nah, crimes of this sort are common in Mauritius. Ask King if you want to confirm. And read le Defi if you wanna check yourself. Our good patriots are bent on making Paradise Island little Matto Grosso. ::)
How can fighting ever be cute? ::) :P
I still get the feeling that you are exaggerating. ::) You see couples fighting everyday? This is not good. :(
Conclusion: Divorce should be made illegal only in Mauritius. :P :D
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How can fighting ever be cute? ::) :P
I still get the feeling that you are exaggerating. ::) You see couples fighting everyday? This is not good. :(
Conclusion: Divorce should be made illegal only in Mauritius. :P :D
Apologizing is. Besides, it doesn't make life boring. ;)
Okay, they may have petty fights... that's normal. But really serious ones aren't that recurrent, but no rare either.
Only Mauritians don't fight. Realization. :P ::)
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Apologizing is. Besides, it doesn't make life boring. ;)
Okay, they may have petty fights... that's normal. But really serious ones aren't that recurrent, but no rare either.
Only Mauritians don't fight. Realization. :P ::)
The rotating pyramid on your signature is cute. :P :D
You're right. Marriage is boring without some spice, like petty fights. :P
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The rotating pyramid on your signature is cute. :P :D
You're right. Marriage is boring without some spice, like petty fights. :P
Thank you. :) Enlarge it and watch it rotate, it's fun. :D
At last, you agree on something. ;)
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Thank you. :) Enlarge it and watch it rotate, it's fun. :D
At last, you agree on something. ;)
Yeah. Rarely do we ever agree on something. :P :D
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From the male perspective, the thought of having access to only one vagina for the rest of his life is quite daunting, and one of my gender may become bored of that same-old.
/thread ;D jks, I never divorce because I would have spent a long time with that girl and got to know her. We would go through hardships but thats life isn't it? Divorce is like suicide. You quit cos you can't handle it.
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either:
both marraige & divose should be made legal(because if there no law to divorse , people would still seperate if they really cant bear their marriage ,& them being imprisoned 4 it, or required 2 pay a large sum of money 4 breaking law wouldn't be too good.After all both hav to agreee on divorse to get it !)
or
both shouldent be made leagal:
(then none of these problems would arise , living together/marrage based purely on trust placed on each other or else da other extreame changing partners every minute :D)
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i think divorce should be legal...
consider the times when marriages have deteriorated immensely... like beyond salvation... divorce becomes an important and best step to take... without that the children of that marriage are usually not socially upright and tend to have big time psychological issues...
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If divorce is illegal, then no one would want to get married. Illegal relationships is what we will be seeing occurring the most.
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From the male perspective, the thought of having access to only one vagina for the rest of his life is quite daunting, and one of my gender may become bored of that same-old.
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL. ::)
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If divorce is illegal, then no one would want to get married. Illegal relationships is what we will be seeing occurring the most.
I agree that divorce should be legal. But illegal relationships still occur now when divorce is perfectly legal.
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I agree that divorce should be legal. But illegal relationships still occur now when divorce is perfectly legal.
I didn't say it won't occur but it will happen 'more' when divorce is illegal.
Even if two married people dislike each other and can't get a divorce, each of them would end up having an illegal intercourse with another person.
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I didn't say it won't occur but it will happen 'more' when divorce is illegal.
Even if two married people dislike each other and can't get a divorce, each of them would end up having an illegal intercourse with another person.
Okay, would love to have your opinion on this: https://studentforums.biz/debates/your-opinion-as-an-arab-about-the-protests-going-on/ (https://studentforums.biz/debates/your-opinion-as-an-arab-about-the-protests-going-on/)
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Divorce should be legal :o The minute it becomes illegal I see half the men in this world shooting themselves dead :D
On a fair note, divorce should be legal. I see that some countries have designated ways of making sure that divorce is not to be toyed with. In the US, divorce results in 50% of the property owned by the male of the family (or the earning hand? something like that) to be transferred in name of the ex-wife. Children are also not just playthings you can toss around and there are concrete rules on who should have the guardianship of the child, how often the other parent may interact with the child (especially if the divorce was a result of the incompetence of misbehavior of the other parent) and whatnot. So a sane couple would either not marry and once they married, they would like to be dead sure that 'until death do they part'.
As far as my religious beliefs go, divorce is legal and a ''necessary sin', per se. It's preferred to not divorce and the procedure makes it quite comfortable for the woman to adjust in the South Asian society or even abroad.
Skimming through it: divorce (talaaq) is declared twice. Ideally this should be done over a period of three menstrual cycles for the woman, so that after the first divorce they don't necessarily 'associate' but have time to think. Reconciliation in this period of time nullifies the divorce.
The three menstrual cycles are actually the woman's iddat, after which she can remarry. The purpose seems to be confirmation of whether she is pregnant or not, and also this paves way (in case all the divorces have not been said) for making up with the man again. She stays in the man's house during this time, if she is pregnant she stays with him until she has delivered the child. She is not bound to raise the child and even if the ex-husband wants her to breastfeed the child, she holds the right to demand payment since it is no longer her responsibility. Hence, after divorce the child is the sole responsibility of the father and his family; if the father is deemed unfit for undertaking this responsibility the government may take responsibility, and if the mother wishes and is deemed fit she may take responsibility of the child. The woman can also divorce the man, it is known as khula and is more of a 'plea for talaaq' to the court which then ensures the man divorces her. The mehr (a sum of money given to the woman at the time of marriage) is maintained by the woman and will not be returned.
As far as promiscuity and unfaithfulness go, it'll only increase in incidence if divorce is abolished. Maybe a man isn't unfaithful as such, but if he's stuck with a woman he no longer wants he is then forced to cheat on her. Though men/women who are bad with monogamy are going to end up cheating on their spouse, divorce or not.
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"I would have spent a long time with that girl and got to own her" - Me
I'm terribly sorry if anyone read that and thought I meant that, I was meant to say got to "know" her. It was an honest mistake and I only just realised. Sorry.
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Divorce should be legal, especially in cases where the husband is abusing the wife and/or the children. This allows the wife to choose whether she wants to start a new life with her children without the abusive husband, or not. :-\
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Ofcourse.
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Divorce should be legal, especially in cases where the husband is abusing the wife and/or the children. This allows the wife to choose whether she wants to start a new life with her children without the abusive husband, or not. :-\
You forgot the vice versa.
Women nowadays ::)
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You forgot the vice versa.
Women nowadays ::)
Haha, yeah, women can be pretty violent at times. The poor husbands. :-X
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Its unfortunate when one couple ends up without any other option but divorce. The close ones might try to fix the matters but in some cases it doesn't really work and every attempt fails.
this is a reality that most of the couples after 5-10 years of their marriage get into troubles and divorce comes into the debate.
In the decision making many factors have to be taken into consideration like:-
-The class from which a couple belongs
-religion
-traditions and customs
-education
-number of kids a couple has
-financial condition of a couple
A woman of a lower middle class family might find difficult to take this decision because she is financially dependent on husband. Most of the families might not support her in this decision. You become a target of ill gossip if a woman gets divorce.
insecurity and lack of vision might hamper in taking a decision. I am talking about the less privileged societies. if she is modern and enlightened then she might be able to cope well with the after effects and her self belief might help her to start a new life after abandoning her first marriage.
in the male dominant society the law might encourage males to marry twice or thrice which is immoral if you are doing that in order to seek pleasure. i think its fine if you marry twice if you have infertility issues with first wife because majority can't really afford test tube babies or the use of genetic advancements in order to have a baby. peer pressure and backward society might come into effect if you adopt a baby. this kind of mindset doesn't prevails in educated class and in advanced countries where literacy rate is high, the state owns its people and where laws are being implemented...
The situation is different in developed countries where you see freedom of choice. the freedom might be used in a wrong way but with everything, negatives do exist.
In this case, i believe the advantages overlook the disadvantages in legalising the divorce and making it an open decision according to one's desire. You gotta think for majority benefits while making a decision....
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I divorced my girl friend because she turned out to be a Ismaili (Muslim)
so yes divorce should be legal so that both sides should be happy.
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I divorced my girl friend because she turned out to be a Ismaili (Muslim)
so yes divorce should be legal so that both sides should be happy.
Just because of her being Ismaili ? ::)
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^^ Ismaili, I think that's a sect of islam. but what's wrong with being ismaili man? Poor girl. :P
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You bet... You divorce a religious girlfriend, but then you look for a religious wife. ::)
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^^ Ismaili, I think that's a sect of islam. but what's wrong with being ismaili man? Poor girl. :P
It's a sub-sect within the Shiism sect.
Exactly. I'm wondering the same ...
You bet... You divorce a religious girlfriend, but then you look for a religious wife. ::)
I know right. ::)
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@Requiem_reborn: i think religion is a very personal issue like you have your own set of beliefs and ideals in life. would you like to tell that why did u had to marry on the first place if you were so bothered by her religion. or if u really loved her then why didn't you show her the right path i.e your religion.
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for those of you who are oblivious to this sect, you should know that Ismailis and main stream Muslims (shia/Sunni) are radically different in almost every ritual.
It would only lead to chaos later on and knowing my mom and family, its almost guaranteed.
and Rvel, Bro.. I did not marry her.. i was in a relationship. And the last thing I would wanna do is preach knowing how weak i am on my own religious principles.
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hi, ok i respect your thoughts but i would never do such a thing that ending relation due to religion or a different sect etc. i think everyone is searching, discovering and trying to find the truth, correct path. mind keeps on wondering and questioning about the religious issues. nothing is constant. the bond between two people in my view is more important then the unsolved mysteries in the mind.
but if a person behaves stubbornly and doesn't wanna think on religious issues, acts rigid or as a fanatic in his views, and stops learning then that it is a worry for me.
i don't know about your case but obviously family pressure and other peer pressures have to be considered as well but i can fight and convince others with logical argument if i was in a similar position. :)
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@requiem_reborn: Well, just because she holds a different religious belief, does not mean you be unfair to her.
The thing about sect is like this: If you go ask her why she is ismaili, she will explain it logically why she is so, just like you can explain why you are "sunni". So, tolerate people. ::) Quran even permits marrying christisans and jews,let alone ismaili. :P
Well, if religious matters were so strict in your family you should have asked her first before going out with her... That's not fair, consider how she feels about you now?
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LOL. It's funny how "religion" and "(pre-marital) relationship" go hand in hand these days.
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I think no law should interfere with laws in religion that does not cause major problems, so yes divorce should be legal, even though i do suggest couples to find another alternative especially if they have children, because those children will loose the most and they coudnt even say a word
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I saw a pic of an 11 year old girl in Yemen, married and divorced from a 40 something year old man, holding a divorce party.
New trend?
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OMG, now people cant even choose a wife properly, i wonder what is next...Men getting married to cute baby girls
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In the middle ages Kings children of different kings and Queens used to marry for political reasons.
I suppose we should be grateful that noone has ever been forced to marry a horse or a dog.
Or maybe someone has. In some parts of the world this may be a punishment for some crimes.
One what grounds could you be granted a divorce from a horse?
Almost poetry.
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Actually a man in India was forced to marry a dog for kicking her while she was passing next to him, that is what i heard, i am not sure if it is true
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If he kicked the dog then he probably desrved it.
People should be kind to animals.
If my cat runs away from me it is because I am over affectionate, like pepe le phew
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If he kicked the dog then he probably desrved it.
People should be kind to animals.
If my cat runs away from me it is because I am over affectionate, like pepe le phew
But what was the fault of the dog, i dont think she was asked if she wants to marry him, because probably she would have said no, i feel sorry for the dog
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If someone WANTS to marry a dog, they should be stopped for their own happiness, and the safety of the dog.
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IKR... thats exactly what i mean
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Thinking of people marrying dogs and such strange happenings, in India and china, there is such a shortage of women, that is what could be happening soon.
Hope they can laugh about it.
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Whether you think it's right or not, people want it.