IGCSE/GCSE/O & A Level/IB/University Student Forum
General Chat NEW! The Student Forums Chatroom => Funnies => Topic started by: dodi23 on June 20, 2010, 01:48:32 pm
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So of course it's difficult to learn the English language.......and
learning to spell can be pure guess work.......
a. Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
b. A backward poet writes inverse.
c. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
d. Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
e. Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
f. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
g. A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
h. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
i. Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
j. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
k. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
l. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
m. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
n. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
o. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
p. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
q. In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
r. She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
s. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
t. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
u. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
v. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
w. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
x. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
y. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
z. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
aa. Every calendar's days are numbered.
ab. A lot of money is tainted - 'taint yours and 'taint mine.
ac. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
ad. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
ae. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
af. A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium
at large.
ag. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the
end.
ah. Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
ai. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
aj. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
ak. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
edit>>>>my 900th post ;D
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nice!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D
maybe i'll post few.
moving it! ;)
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Thanks nobody :)
lool im thanking nobody ;D
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im thanking nobody
Add to it ;)
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Add to it ;)
lawwl true....
ill let nobody add it himself (if he doesnt mind!!) :P
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lawwl true....
ill let nobody add it himself (if he doesnt mind!!) :P
Nobody adds something > Another one. ::)
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Nobody adds something > Another one. ::)
third one>>>> wheres nobody here ::)
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third one>>>> wheres nobody here ::)
Nobody will chase us with a gun now :D > 4th
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Nobody will chase us with a gun now :D > 4th
nobody dont kill me!!!>>5th
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nobody dont kill me!!!>>5th
6th > How about "Nobody kills me"? :D
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6th > How about "Nobody kills me"? :D
is nobody even online??>>7th
looool im enjoying this ;)
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here comes Nobody!
Nobody is going to kill you both today!
English a funny language
An oxymoron is usually defined as a phrase in which two words of contradictory meaning are brought together:-
1) Clearly misunderstood
2) Exact Estimate
3) Small Crowd
4) Act Naturally
5) Found Missing
6) Fully Empty
7) Pretty ugly
8) Seriously funny
9) Only choice
10) Original copies
And the best of all......
11) Happily Married
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is nobody even online??>>7th
looool im enjoying this ;)
8th > Nobody was replying, I saw... ;)
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here comes Nobody!
Nobody is going to kill you both today!
English a funny language
An oxymoron is usually defined as a phrase in which two words of contradictory meaning are brought together:-
1) Clearly misunderstood
2) Exact Estimate
3) Small Crowd
4) Act Naturally
5) Found Missing
6) Fully Empty
7) Pretty ugly
8) Seriously funny
9) Only choice
10) Original copies
And the best of all......
11) Happily Married
Best of all always comes last. :D
12 > Correct Mistake.
13> Nobody replied! :D
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Best of all always comes last. :D
12 > Correct Mistake.
13> Nobody replied! :D
talking to me hu? ::) ::) :P :P :P
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talking to me hu? ::) ::) :P :P :P
LMAOOO
ill change ma name to gamma ;)
nys beta but i already posted these in the clean jokes thread :P
nobody cant kill us :P :P :P
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LMAOOO
ill change ma name to gamma ;)
nys beta but i already posted these in the clean jokes thread :P
nobody cant kill us :P :P :P
And I think I'm gonna nickname myself "Invisible". ::)
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LMAOOO
ill change ma name to gamma ;)
nys beta but i already posted these in the clean jokes thread :P
nobody cant kill us :P :P :P
try it!!
~beta will post more!
~Alpha, try it!
sorry if i offended you! :-[ :-X
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try it!!
~beta will post more!
~Alpha, try it!
sorry if i offended you! :-[ :-X
Come on... I'm not that close-minded. ;)
You are absolutely free to use any nick you like...
Except, of course, ~Alpha. ;D
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u guyz like it :P
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u guyz like it :P
Post modified. Using smileys only is considered as SPAM. Sorry alpha..
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YOU GUYS I AM ELECTRO MAGNETIC RADIATION! ;D
I am your father :P
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loool no ur like our mom :P :P
alrite ill change bak
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loool no ur like our mom :P :P
alrite ill change bak
hahaha
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Post modified. Using smileys only is considered as SPAM. Sorry alpha..
If I quote also, it's a spam?
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And me? Alpha Radiation? :P
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CONGO for the 900th post
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CONGO for the 900th post
Congo Dodi <3 :)
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What's up with this thread ? ::)
By the way dodi congrats ;D
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dodi23, congratulations!
We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes. One
fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, Yet
the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men, Why
shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give
you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why
shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and
shim!!
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What's up with this thread ? ::)
LOL, abnormalities and specialties of the English language?
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LOL, abnormalities and specialties of the English language?
Like alpha and alpha male ? ::)
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here comes Nobody!
Nobody is going to kill you both today!
English a funny language
An oxymoron is usually defined as a phrase in which two words of contradictory meaning are brought together:-
1) Clearly misunderstood
2) Exact Estimate
3) Small Crowd
4) Act Naturally
5) Found Missing
6) Fully Empty
7) Pretty ugly
8) Seriously funny
9) Only choice
10) Original copies
And the best of all......
11) Happily Married
HAHAHAHAHAHA!! Good ones! :D :D :D
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Like alpha and alpha male ? ::)
Hehe. Give you your 1 point. For once. :P
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Hehe. Give you your 1 point. For once. :P
Dear li'l sis.. :P :P
Don't forget I am the Bro... 8)
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Dear li'l sis.. :P :P
Don't forget I am the Bro... 8)
You finally call me sis. 8)
Good Kong. I didn't forget. :P
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You finally call me sis. 8)
Good Kong. I didn't forget. :P
Yeah.... Cuz I heard Kong and female gorillaz are siblings... ::) :P :P
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Yeah.... Cuz I heard Kong and female gorillaz are siblings... ::) :P :P
LOL. That was no coincidence, must have been compulsion. ::)
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LOL. That was no coincidence, must have been compulsion. ::)
Yeah.... :( I heard female gorillaz are cruel dictators. ::) :P :P
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Yeah.... :( I heard female gorillaz are cruel dictators. ::) :P :P
I laud your ears. :P
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I laud your ears. :P
Yeah, who else could hear a haaawwwt girl screaming miles away and rescue her. 8) :P :P
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Yeah, who else could hear a haaawwwt girl screaming miles away and rescue her. 8) :P :P
Then she needs to shout louder to attract someone else to rescue her from Kong. :P
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Then she needs to shout louder to attract someone else to rescue her from Kong. :P
Attract whom ? ::) A female gorilla ? ::) :P
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Attract whom ? ::) A female gorilla ? ::) :P
Yeah. I laud your brains now. :P
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Yeah. I laud your brains now. :P
It's tight and solid. :P :P
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It's tight and solid. :P :P
A rock. ;)
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A rock. ;)
Nope. :P Rocks ain't got enough nerves to be my brain.. :P :P
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Nope. :P Rocks ain't got enough nerves to be my brain.. :P :P
They're enough cracks but. :D
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They're enough cracks but. :D
And what's the thing that flows through the cracks ? ::) Do you take me for Homer Simpson or something ? ::)
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And what's the thing that flows through the cracks ? ::) Do you take me for Homer Simpson or something ? ::)
It's air, like in 'airhead'. ::)
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Sorry for being late but some female gorillaz were troubling me... ::)
It's air, like in 'airhead'. ::)
Duh!!! :P :P O2 keeps the brain alive.... ::)
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Sorry for being late but some female gorillaz were troubling me... ::)
Duh!!! :P :P O2 keeps the brain alive.... ::)
There ought be some grey matter first.
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There ought be some grey matter first.
And who said there isn't any? ::) And what proof do you have that yours does ? ::) :P :P
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Thanks ppl nd loool u guyz chatting without me??
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And who said there isn't any? ::) And what proof do you have that yours does ? ::) :P :P
When you start talking... That's it. :P
Welcome Dodi. :-*
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:-* :-*
trust me alpha no one argues wid kratos....he never shuts up!!!!
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Welcome Dodi. :-*
:-* :-*
Where's my :-* ? ::) :P :P
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trust me alpha no one argues wid kratos....he never shuts up!!!!
::)
[spambot I am not... :P]
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:-* :-*
trust me alpha no one argues wid kratos....he never shuts up!!!!
Nothing is impossible Dodi. ;)
Kratos, that's for girls only.
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i take bak my kiss!!
go alpha!!!!!!
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Nothing is impossible Dodi. ;)
Give me a red hot ride which can do 20 metres in 1 s... ::)
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Kratos, that's for girls only.
Am I not your big bro ? ::)
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i take bak my kiss!!
go alpha!!!!!!
Traitor..... >:( >:(
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Give me a red hot ride which can do 20 metres in 1 s... ::)
One day. :P
And if I die earlier, we'll forward to heaven or hell.
Am I not your big bro ? ::)
I think you are younger bro... no?
i take bak my kiss!!
go alpha!!!!!!
:D :D
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kratooos my big bro/my joke buddy u only get hugs but no kisses!!!!
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kratooos my big bro/my joke buddy u only get hugs but no kisses!!!!
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW