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The Idiot Awards of 2009

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maybeitwastheneighbors:
IDIOT NUMBER ONE!
"I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control centre. Today, this woman called in very upset because
she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her
that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant
poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better
bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.."

IDIOT NUMBER TWO!!
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in
getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a
float on the river, they noticed a Westpac Rescue Helicopter coming
towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the
emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.

IDIOT NUMBER THREE!!!
A man, wanting to rob a Bank of Queensland , walked into the Branch
and wrote ‘Put all your muny in this bag.’ While standing in line,
waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone
had seen him write the note and might call the police before he
reached the teller’s window. So he left the Bank and crossed the
street to the NAB Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed
his note to the teller. She read it and, surmising from
his spelling errors that he wasn’t the brightest light in the harbour,
told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was
written on a Bank of Queensland deposit slip and that he would either
have to fill out a NAB deposit slip or go back to Bank of Queensland .
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, ‘OK’ and left. He was
arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at the
Bank of Queensland. Happened in Noosa!

IDIOT NUMBER FOUR!!!!
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash
in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the
counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as
well, but the cashier refused and said,
‘Because I don’t believe you are over 21.’ The robber said he was, but
the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn’t believe
him. At this point, the robber took his driver’s licence out of his
wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed
that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag.
The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly
called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that she
got off the licence. They arrested the robber two hours later.

IDIOT NUMBER FIVE!!!!!
A pair of robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, ‘Nobody move!’ When his partner moved, the
startled first bandit shot him..

IDIOT NUMBER SIX!!!!!!
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly.. He decided that he’d
just throw a brick through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and
run. So he lifted the brick and heaved it over his head at the window.
The brick bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor
store window was made of Flexi-Glass. .. The whole event was caught on
videotape.. Perth WA .

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
"My daughter went to a local McDonalds and ordered a burger.. She asked
the person behind the counter for ‘minimal lettuce.’
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.. Happened in Surfers
Paradise !!!"

IDIOT SIGHTING:
"I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
‘Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?
To which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?’
He smiled knowingly and nodded, ‘That’s why we ask..’ Happened in Melbourne."

JUST AN IDIOT :
"When my husband and I arrived at a car dealers to pick up our car, we
were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working
feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door. As I watched from the
passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered
that it was unlocked. ‘Hey,’ I announced to the technician, ‘its
open!’ His reply, ‘I know – I already done that side.’
This was at the FORD dealership Dubbo."

<ps: i have never faced any of the above>

I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
Lol. :P Maybe It was the neighbors? :P

maybeitwastheneighbors:
is that supposed to be a pun or an actual question?

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