Author Topic: Clean jokes thread!!!  (Read 153333 times)

Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #870 on: September 14, 2010, 02:27:10 pm »
Aftr engagemnt!

Girl:Now stop looking at girls,u r commited now!
Boy:Oho what do u mean,if i m on diet,
...that doesnt mean that i cant look at MENU . . :-D

Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #871 on: September 14, 2010, 02:32:11 pm »
teachr 2 student - NAADE ko english me kya kehte hain ?

student - P.H.D

Teachr- Kya mtlb ??
...
Student - Pajama Holding Device

Teacher shocks ,Student rocks!!!!

Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #872 on: September 14, 2010, 02:32:41 pm »
Aisi kaunsi chiz hai jo RAvAN akele me kar sakta hai par RAM nahi??

?
socho
?
...
?

nh aya
?

?

Ans:GROUP DISCUSSION.

Offline Twinkle Charms

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #873 on: September 14, 2010, 02:54:53 pm »
It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History.

Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me Death"?

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up:

"Patrick Henry, 1775" he said.

"Very good!"

Who said "Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?"

Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863" said Chandrasekhar.

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed.

Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."

She heard a loud whisper: "F**k the Indians,"

"Who said that?" she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his hand up.

"General Custer, 1862."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."

The teacher glares around and asks "All right! Now, who said that?"

Again, Chandrasekhar says, "Al Gore to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said "You little sh*t. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."

Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him- 2004."

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh sh*t, we're f**ked!"

And Chandrasekhar said quietly,

I think it was George Bush, Iraq, 2007.

:P
hahahaa ROFL smarty pants haha
You See - You like - You try - You fail meanwhile I see - I like - I want - I get!

La Fata Illa Ali, La Saif Illa Zulfikar . (:

Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #874 on: September 16, 2010, 02:09:07 pm »
?2 humans ascended a certain geological protuberance 2 collect a hydride of oxygen quantity z nt specifd.1 membr descends dramaticaly suferng mechanical damage 2 d cranial part of hs anatomical structur.d 2nd membr flows d 1st in a similr series of rapid iregular disturbing movements.


In simple english:
Jack &jill wnt up... d hill 2 fetch d pail of water,jack fell down n broke hs crown n jill kam tumbling aftr...

Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #875 on: September 16, 2010, 02:10:44 pm »
Wats d diff btn Talent & Intelligence?

Getting up early in d mrng daily is
Talent
&
...not trying such nonsense thng is
Intelligence... ;-)

Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #876 on: September 16, 2010, 02:11:20 pm »
 Rawan aur Ram ladai kr rhe the

Rawan: Chal Ram bye

Ram: Q darr gya kya?
....

.

.

.

.

Rawan:- Nai 5 baj gye, Mujhe POKEMON dekhna hai..


Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #877 on: September 16, 2010, 02:16:53 pm »
A young man went to his father one day to tell him that he wanted to get married.

His father was happy for him. He asked his son who the girl was, and he told him that it was Pamela, a girl from the neighborhood.

With a sad face the old man said to his son, 'I'm sorry to
...say this son but I have to. The girl you want to marry is your sister, but please don't tell your mother.'

The young man again brought 3 more names to his father but ended up frustrated cause the response was still the same.

So he decides to go to his mother.

'Mama I want to get married but all the girls that I love, dad said they are my sisters and I mustn't tell you.' His mother smiling said to him, 'Don't worry my son, you can marry any of those girls. You're not his son !!See more

Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #878 on: September 16, 2010, 02:17:35 pm »
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is Politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the... people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."

The father says, "Go od son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep."

Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #879 on: September 17, 2010, 02:29:43 pm »
Thappar Maarnay par Naraz Wife se Husband bola:
“Aadmi usi ko maarta hai jis se Pyaar krta hai.”

Wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maaray aur Boli “Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyaar nahi kerti.”

Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #880 on: September 17, 2010, 02:32:24 pm »
Salman- tumhara naam kya hai?
Girl - kyu batau ? main to tumhe jaanti bhi nahi.
Salman - mat batao mai kaunsa tumhe apni FERRARI mein bitha raha hu.
Girl- My name is Riya, B.ARch 2nd year, wo samne wali gali mein right hand pe 4th
number wala mera ghar hai 32/B, ghar mein ek chot bhai, mom aur papa
...hain, tuition time 6 to 8 hai.See more

Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #881 on: September 17, 2010, 02:33:46 pm »
 In an exam, a student who was'nt prepared, left the page blank and at the bottom drew flowers and wrote :
" DEDICATED TO MY MEMORY, WHICH RECENTLY PASSED AWAY...!"

Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #882 on: September 17, 2010, 02:34:36 pm »
Santa was standing in sun on a hot sunny day.
Riya asked: What are you doing?

Santa: Cant you see you fool i m Drying sweat

Offline WARRIOR

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #883 on: September 17, 2010, 04:14:06 pm »
hehe nice ones master ! + rep!
NO secrets to SUCCESS , it is the result of 1.HARD WORK 2.GOOD PREPARATION 3.LEARNING FROM FAILURE
But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward-Balboa

Offline Aadeez || Zafar

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #884 on: September 17, 2010, 06:31:22 pm »

Karna padta hai apne kharcho pe kabu....

Karna padta hai apne kharcho pe kabu....

Ek chutki sindur ki keemat...

Tum kya jano RAMESH BABU !!!



Yeh BaaabuRaao ka style hein!