Author Topic: Clean jokes thread!!!  (Read 149764 times)

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #690 on: August 07, 2010, 05:02:11 pm »
Shocking letter. :P :P

A mother enters her daughter's bedroom and sees a letter over the bed. With the worst premonition, she reads it, with trembling hands: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I eloped with my new boyfriend. I found real passion and he is so nice, with all his piercing and tattoos and his big motorcycle. But it is not only that mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy in his trailer in the woods. He wants to have many more children with me and that's one of my dreams. I've learned that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and his friends, who are providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasies we may want. In the meantime, we'll pray for the science to find the AIDS cure, for Ahmed to get better, he deserves it. Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Some day I'll visit for you to know your grandchildren.

Love
Your daughter, Judith

PS: Mom, it's not true. I'm at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to show you that there are worse things in life than the school's report card that's in my desk drawer...I love you!
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Freaked12

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #691 on: August 07, 2010, 05:20:22 pm »
Last two lines RUINED it

Offline The Golden Girl =D

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #692 on: August 07, 2010, 09:33:49 pm »
@ kratos : Nice one ..Man it's soo WOW :D :D ..Made me laugh :) ......+rep
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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #693 on: August 08, 2010, 08:43:08 am »
hey this is the wrong section to post jokes

Offline Heart Hacker

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #694 on: August 08, 2010, 08:47:24 am »
nice...  :P i wonder what the mom had to go thru  :P
Hope for the Best .....Expect the Worst ;)

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Offline Arthur Bon Zavi

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #695 on: August 08, 2010, 09:55:01 am »
okay bt this was made for a big joke!! right so lets continue....

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Offline Deadly_king

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #696 on: August 08, 2010, 11:22:08 am »
hey.......its so cruel.........the mum could hv a heart attack right then!!
especially if she had no patience 2 read the last 2 lines  :P

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #697 on: August 08, 2010, 01:27:04 pm »
oh ohkie then i guess the mod should do the shifting !
 

Offline Dibss

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #698 on: August 08, 2010, 01:39:03 pm »
LOL good jokes ;D
+rep!
And exam's r?ght about the wrong sect?on.

Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #699 on: August 08, 2010, 02:23:16 pm »
Management Lesson
You spent 100% income on your wife and get 10% satisfaction.
on the other hand
You spent 10% income on your girlfriend and get 100% satisfaction.
your money, your decision

Offline DrEvil

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #700 on: August 08, 2010, 09:22:46 pm »
Talent...?

A family was visiting an Indian reservation when they happen upon an old tribesman laying face down in the middle Of the road with his ear pressed firmly against the blacktop.

The father of the family asked the old tribesman what he was doing.

The tribesman began to speak..."woman, late thirties, three kids, one barking dog in late model, Four door station wagon, traveling at 65 m.p.h."

"That's amazing" exclaimed the father.

"You can tell all of that by just listening to the ground"?

"No", said the old tribesman. "They just ran over me five minutes ago"!


“When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.”

Offline DrEvil

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #701 on: August 08, 2010, 09:27:59 pm »
Must read this:  :D :D :D :D

Fart Football...!!!

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows
When the old man passes gas and says, "Seven Points."
His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"
The old man replied, "It's fart football."

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says "Touchdown, tie score."

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says,
"Aha. I'm Ahead 14 to 7."
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says,
"Touchdown, tie score."

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says,
"Field goal, I lead 17 to 14."

Now the pressure is on the old man.
He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.
Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got
And... accidentally poops in the bed.

The wife says, "What the heck was that?"

The old man says, "Half time, switch sides"




“When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.”

Offline The Golden Girl =D

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #702 on: August 09, 2010, 07:21:40 pm »
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to hisCustomer,

"This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it toyou."

The barber puts a dollar in one hand and 25 cents in the other, thencalls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"

The boy takes 25cents and leaves.

"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid neverlearns!"

Later, when the Customer leaves, he sees the same young boy comingout of the ice cream store.

"Hey son, May I ask you a question? Why did youtake 25 cents instead of the dollar?"

The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"
Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest(13:28)

Please, Don't forget to Include GG in your Prayers =D

Offline Heart Hacker

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #703 on: August 09, 2010, 10:23:50 pm »
@evil big LOL

@gg........  ;D some ppl r over-smart  :P
Hope for the Best .....Expect the Worst ;)

Thank Allah for everything :)

Offline The Golden Girl =D

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #704 on: August 09, 2010, 11:27:59 pm »
hahaha :D :D
Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest(13:28)

Please, Don't forget to Include GG in your Prayers =D