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Clean jokes thread!!!
lilly:
A patrol officer pulled over Enid for speeding. Enid was a 65 year old lady from out of state.
The officer asked to see her licence.
'Don't have one' Enid said.
'Can I please see the Vehicle registration' the officer asked firmly but politely.
'Nope' snapped Enid.
In that case I will have to take you into the Police station and charge you there. When they arrived they arresting officer said, to the duty sergeant. This lady has no licence and no vehicle registration.
'Sure I do' said Enid sweetly. This officer has got in for me, the next thing is he will be saying that I was speeding.
Heart Hacker:
Girlfriend > Are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend > sure, i checked the whole list again yesterday
;D
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
Yo guys!
Here's a telegram from my A**
Telegram from my Arse ***
A young boy was out shopping with his mother in the local supermarket. While walking along one of the aisles the young boy let rip with the loudest fart he could muster.
"I beg your pardon!" said his mother "Was that you who did that?"
"Yep." replied the boy, grinning "It's a telegram from my arse to let you know there's a sh*t on its way."
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
Canadian Lumberjack ****
A large, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good Lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny little man showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjacks' door.
The head lumberjack took one look at the little man and told him to leave.
"Just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the skinny man.
"Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" said the lumberjack. "Take your axe and go cut it down."
The skinny man headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the lumberjack's door. "I cut the tree down," said the man.
The lumberjack couldn't believe his eyes and said, "Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?"
"In the Sahara Forest," replied the puny man.
"You mean the Sahara Desert," said the lumberjack.
The little man laughed and answered back, "Oh sure, that's what they call it now!"
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
Chinese named Hans ****
Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen's Laundry." "Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How the heck does that fit in here?" So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter.
The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like "Hans Olaffsen's Laundry?"
The old man answers, "Is name of owner."
The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?"
"Me, is right here," replies the old man.
"You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?"
"Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, "What your name?" He say, "Hans Olaffsen." then she look at me and go, 'What your name?'"
"I say, Sem Ting."
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