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Clean jokes thread!!!
SauD~:
After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men; he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women; she loved to browse.
One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart :
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
3. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
4. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
5. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
6. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
7. November 10: While carelessly handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
8. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the " Mission Impossible" theme.
9. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
And last, but not least ..
10. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
Regards,
Wal-Mart
Patti Barber, Office Supervisor IAccounting Unit, Behavioral Health Services
Crooked:
A young man asked a rich old man how he made his money :o
The old guy said,"Son,It was 1932. The depth of the great depression. I was down to my last nickel..i invested that in an apple & spent the day polishng it & at the end of day, i sold the apple fer ten cents. :o Next day, i invested those 10 cents in 2 apples. I polished them whole day and sold them for 20 cents. I continued doing this fer a month. By the end of which i had accumulated a fortune of $1.37. :P Then, my wife's father died & left us 2 MILLION dollars" :P
Moral: Hardworkng is just crappy. Yuh will have to find a chick whose father is a MILLIONAIRE :P :P ;)
This is just fer jokes. :D
Amelia:
^ Real nice, Crooky. ::) :D
ADAM AND EVE WERE IN THE GARDEN OF EDEN, AND EVE HAD NOT BEEN THERE LONG AND ADAM WAS TRYING TO GET A GRASP ON THE FEMALE THING, SO HE ASKED GOD IF THEY COULD TALK. GOD REPLIED, SURE YOUR MY SON AND I LOVE YOU YOU CAN ASK ME ANYTHING.SO ADAM ASKED, GOD YOU HAVE GIVEN ME THE BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS AND THE SUNSET....BUT I LOOK AT EVE AND SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL IT TAKES MY BREATH AWAY.. WHY GOD, DID YOU MAKE HER SO BEAUTIFUL? GOD REPLIED, MY SON THAT IS EASY, I MADE HER THAT WAY SO YOU WOULD LOVE HER, ADAM REPLIED WELL, IT WORKED BUT I HAVE ANOTHER QUESTION.. I TOUCH THE COOL WATER AND RUB THE FURRY ANIMALS AND THE FEEL SO GOOD TO ME BUT I TOUCH EVE AND IT IS SO WONDERFUL MY HEART ALMOST STOPS.. GOD, WHY DID YOU MAKE HER THAT WAY? GOD REPLIED WELL ADAM THATS EASY I MADE HER THAT WAY SO YOU'D LOVE HER.. WELL ADAM REPLIED, IT WORKED, I DO, BUT GOD I HAVE ONE MORE QUESTION AND I DON'T MEAN TO QUESTION YOUR WISDOM OR ANYTHING, BUT GOD SHE'S STUPID, WHY DID YOU MAKE HER STUPID? GOD REPLIED MY SON THATS EASY I MADE HER THAT WAY SO SHE WOULD LOVE YOU!!!
TimmY73:
hahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!
that was really veary veary very funny............
SauD~:
--- Quote from: TimmY73 on January 29, 2011, 04:05:26 pm ---hahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!
that was really veary veary very funny............
--- End quote ---
You are suppose to write jokes, not only commentary -.-
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