Teachers and Students > Debates
Marriage
Saladin:
--- Quote from: sweetest angel on May 11, 2010, 05:45:09 am ---when you start a long course degree I know the first thought in most everyone's mind will be, "But, that will interfere with getting married and having children!" It's unfortunate that the first thought couldn't have been, "WOW, she has accomplished so much! She's making such a great life for herself all on her own!" Nope. That would only contradict generations of patriarchy's goal to chain my ankles to the kitchen, having one hand feeding my son and the other ironing my husband's shirt, given that the chain would be long enough for me to do so, of course.
Before I get everyone all riled up and start getting verbal attacks of being a "man-hating feminist", let me first say that feminism is NOT a women's issue. Plenty of men out there are feminists. Plenty of men do not agree with patriarchy. So, I don't hate on men. I like men.Plain and simple. Secondly, I am by no means saying that a woman who stays at home is not pro-feminism. I think that taking on the responsibility of caring for an entire household is not just a responsibility but, an actual job. A job that gets overlooked. A job that society doesn't give enough credit to. What does piss me off is the notion that this job is naturally a woman's job. Now that all of that is cleared up, I shall digress...
Back to an unmarried life. Yes, I would be twenty-four years old and unmarried. Looking through my MySpace and Facebook, I will easily estimate that at least half of my friends/classmates from high school would be engaged or married.We all know that relationships are never what they appear to be from an outside view. Hell, marriage doesn't even always equate to love. What those women have isn't necessarily what I need anyway.
Are we all settling because of this stupid timeline that decrees you a failure if you're not married by 30? Of course, love itself is relative to culture and differs from person to person, but are we really that uncomfortable with being unmarried? Why is it so horrible to live your life and better yourself in every way possible and just let love come to you? Why are we searching "out there" for someone to love us when love is already within ourselves? I would be lying if I said I don't enjoy companionship, but what is it that makes me need someone else? I don't believe a man would "complete" me. I believe I complete me...but then why do I long for someone else to validate me?
I have all these crazy questions and thoughts in my head. I suppose that's where my concoction begins to brew. I'm frustrated because I want the external voices to stop. I'm impatient to experience my idea of love. And I fear that by wanting Mr. Right to propose to me means that I am stunting my growth as an individual.
If I do fall in love and get married, I want to be a complete person. I want to be someone's partner, not his dependent. I suppose what I want right now is to truly believe that I could stand strong on my own. I want to truly believe that the ultimate love is a love that I already possess. A love that's been there all along, amidst any future boyfriends and dating scenes: self-love - the ultimate love.
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Harsh. But would you chose your uni degree over your son, a person who looks up to you? You dont have to get married at Uni, most people get married after that you know.
Monica:
--- Quote from: sweetest angel on May 11, 2010, 07:17:36 am ---
W b3dein 2na dah ra2y, ma3 25telaf 2l2ara2 yabqa 2lwed beynana. fo2 2nek moslema zaye 2nty kaman masreya y3ni 2lmafrood 3la rasy...yb2a leih kda?
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loooool..ya benti ana mosh taking it personal! That is why I used the smile to show you eno I am not being personal.
Did you see me getting angry aw 7aga? Again I apologize don't like to enter debates aslan because they cause misconception.
sweetest angel:
--- Quote from: The Mysterious Dude on May 11, 2010, 07:22:29 am ---Harsh. But would you chose your uni degree over your son, a person who looks up to you? You dont have to get married at Uni, most people get married after that you know.
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Ya they do. But if you choose to take the long path of a doctorate, say you are 30 something when you are done. People would look at this woman like a weird person for not thinking family life earlier, rather than appreciating her acheivments.
shousho....Its okay :). rabena ma3aki in ur exams though. We you can continue to debate 3adi. Bas i got your point in this topic and no problem, deep down there I know i'll have to get married someday, I am just not looking forward to it. The society is much stronger than my views, but the longer i argue the longer i'll hold on. Or atleast I think so :P
Saladin:
--- Quote from: sweetest angel on May 11, 2010, 07:27:44 am ---Ya they do. But if you choose to take the long path of a doctorate, say you are 30 something when you are done. People would look at this woman like a weird person for not thinking family life earlier, rather than appreciating her acheivments.
--- End quote ---
Well, I see nothing wierd in that. But, tell me, will she not have trouble getting married then?
nid404:
Having trouble getting married at 30? No wayy...
People now marry much later than before. I wouldn't think of getting married before say 27/28. I wish to be something on my own, so I can start a family and look after it. I want my family to have a comfortable life.
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