Author Topic: Should marriage be a lifelong commitment?  (Read 11296 times)

Offline $tyli$h Executive

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Re: Should marriage be a lifelong commitment?
« Reply #15 on: February 11, 2010, 01:41:32 pm »
When making the 'choice' it is normal for people to get emotional. Nothing, let alone marriage, should be done without a definite purpose, which is of a personal benifit. Love and affection is of no materialistic benifit. It is an investment without any future prospect if done without a definite purpose. :)

Offline astarmathsandphysics

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Re: Should marriage be a lifelong commitment?
« Reply #16 on: February 11, 2010, 01:51:16 pm »
People fail. Sounds bad. Like, if they fail, sack them or shoot them.

Alpha

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Re: Should marriage be a lifelong commitment?
« Reply #17 on: February 11, 2010, 01:53:01 pm »
When making the 'choice' it is normal for people to get emotional. Nothing, let alone marriage, should be done without a definite purpose, which is of a personal benifit. Love and affection is of no materialistic benifit. It is an investment without any future prospect if done without a definite purpose. :)

There is another world beyond, above, behind, exceeding, outside this materialistic world. Love and affection is not material, it's greater than that. And people who venture in it do have their purpose. They make it as the purpose of their life. Man is not the creature who satisfies himself with the materialistic, but rather, will give his everything to get a taste of the divine. :)

Marriage is not an 'investment', it is a union. In your language, it's not a partnership, it's a permanent amalgamation.

« Last Edit: February 11, 2010, 01:57:49 pm by ~Alpha »

Alpha

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Re: Should marriage be a lifelong commitment?
« Reply #18 on: February 11, 2010, 01:55:21 pm »
People fail. Sounds bad. Like, if they fail, sack them or shoot them.

Yes people fail, just like they succeed. Or give them another chance.

You give a knife in a fool's hand. If he kills someone with it, you can't blame the knife. Can you?

Offline Saladin

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Re: Should marriage be a lifelong commitment?
« Reply #19 on: February 11, 2010, 02:04:10 pm »
Well, to begin, the definition of marrige in the west is a union of two families (i am from the east), a union of a man and a woman. Before, the idea of having a casual relationship was something embarrasing and something that was seen as a 'disgrace' if it were to be out in the public. ( The school history textbook used in the UK, chapter life in the UK). Now, lately, casual relationships have become very common and something of 'pride'. Teenagers especially have become very fond of the idea.

However, this is the problem, one of the important reasons why marriges form is to fulfill desire. Although it is far from the most important ones. However, it is a big one. Now, at a tender age, especially at adolescenence, 'love' turns up to be a common misconception. At this age, due to hormone fluctuations in the body, there is a mix-up between love and lust. And this mix-up has been promoted over and over again from childhood, like with movies like Cinderella, now a days there are very few people in the world who have not heard the story. Later grown up novels and movies with 'adult' parts in it.

So, I know I will face a lot of critiscism, this is 'typically' what happens. I know there will always be exceptions. But this is 'generally' what happens. Now, this confusion is prolonged because the values that the older generation had about the idea of 'union', the idea that there should be a distance between boys a girls. So, this confusion becomes a fact and a simple thought, 'If I can get what I want of a wife from a girl-friend why the heck should I get married?". So as you can see many people have children with their girl-friends and there is nothig the law does to prohibit this, in most western countries.

Now, so, the man, views that, marrrige is simply a 'sticker' of a formal relation. But, this is where he forgets the commitment. The woman, who is also likely to have many casual relationships in the past thinks similarly. In the US, the average number of casual parterners for male and female is around 8.

SO, now what happens, is the responsibility is erased from the relationship and it simply becomes another casual ones.

Now children, the consequences of a break up is severe. They are not able to go through normal and health growths. So because of such a relation, a relation with little commitment, the children suffer. Now imagine this happening in hunderds of families and now imagine the consequences.

So if marrige is not taken seriously, the children suffer. If the children suffer, the next generation learn the wrong things. Without proper parental guidance, imagine what could happen.

So if there is no commitment, it is not a sinciere relationship and it ends in the next generation being 'screwed'. Marrige is how society is linked, it puts the authority of two families, and thus manu families together. If there is not commitment in a marrige, and as I have said marriges, society collapses.

Now this might be normal to you, I have seen people who have had 'it' many times without telling their parents. Infact this is a key issue in America and the UK.

Hope that answers your question.

Alpha

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Re: Should marriage be a lifelong commitment?
« Reply #20 on: February 11, 2010, 02:15:17 pm »
Well, to begin, the definition of marrige in the west is a union of two families (i am from the east), a union of a man and a woman. Before, the idea of having a casual relationship was something embarrasing and something that was seen as a 'disgrace' if it were to be out in the public. ( The school history textbook used in the UK, chapter life in the UK). Now, lately, casual relationships have become very common and something of 'pride'. Teenagers especially have become very fond of the idea.

However, this is the problem, one of the important reasons why marriges form is to fulfill desire. Although it is far from the most important ones. However, it is a big one. Now, at a tender age, especially at adolescenence, 'love' turns up to be a common misconception. At this age, due to hormone fluctuations in the body, there is a mix-up between love and lust. And this mix-up has been promoted over and over again from childhood, like with movies like Cinderella, now a days there are very few people in the world who have not heard the story. Later grown up novels and movies with 'adult' parts in it.

So, I know I will face a lot of critiscism, this is 'typically' what happens. I know there will always be exceptions. But this is 'generally' what happens. Now, this confusion is prolonged because the values that the older generation had about the idea of 'union', the idea that there should be a distance between boys a girls. So, this confusion becomes a fact and a simple thought, 'If I can get what I want of a wife from a girl-friend why the heck should I get married?". So as you can see many people have children with their girl-friends and there is nothig the law does to prohibit this, in most western countries.

Now, so, the man, views that, marrrige is simply a 'sticker' of a formal relation. But, this is where he forgets the commitment. The woman, who is also likely to have many casual relationships in the past thinks similarly. In the US, the average number of casual parterners for male and female is around 8.

SO, now what happens, is the responsibility is erased from the relationship and it simply becomes another casual ones.

Now children, the consequences of a break up is severe. They are not able to go through normal and health growths. So because of such a relation, a relation with little commitment, the children suffer. Now imagine this happening in hunderds of families and now imagine the consequences.

So if marrige is not taken seriously, the children suffer. If the children suffer, the next generation learn the wrong things. Without proper parental guidance, imagine what could happen.

So if there is no commitment, it is not a sinciere relationship and it ends in the next generation being 'screwed'. Marrige is how society is linked, it puts the authority of two families, and thus manu families together. If there is not commitment in a marrige, and as I have said marriges, society collapses.

Now this might be normal to you, I have seen people who have had 'it' many times without telling their parents. Infact this is a key issue in America and the UK.

Hope that answers your question.

Ouf!  :D Am experiencing long posts again... Okay, lemme take time to read. Thank you for the effort though.  :)

Alpha

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Re: Should marriage be a lifelong commitment?
« Reply #21 on: February 11, 2010, 02:23:31 pm »
Thank you The Dude.


Hehe, yes, as I could understand...

   Marriage is a lifelong commitment, because children are not produced for a temporary period.

And yes, if there is no commitment, then where is a man's integrity? Marriage is a series of vows--- how can someone have integrity if he does not stick to his words?

It's also a question of morality. Ethics, social standards.
 

Offline $tyli$h Executive

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Re: Should marriage be a lifelong commitment?
« Reply #22 on: February 11, 2010, 02:34:07 pm »
@alpha

When I was in grade 7, I had to read a book 'Tales from Shakespeare' for literature. I got red marks in literature mainly because of my inability to understand and answer any question from 'Romeo and Juliet' and 'As you like it'. :)

Its something I just dont understand.

And no arguements. I have no arguements because I didnt understand your reply at all to be frank. But thats just how I am and I think. I have expressed myself and am therefore out of this debate. :) :) :)

Alpha

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Re: Should marriage be a lifelong commitment?
« Reply #23 on: February 11, 2010, 02:52:45 pm »
@alpha

When I was in grade 7, I had to read a book 'Tales from Shakespeare' for literature. I got red marks in literature mainly because of my inability to understand and answer any question from 'Romeo and Juliet' and 'As you like it'. :)

Its something I just dont understand.

And no arguements. I have no arguements because I didnt understand your reply at all to be frank. But thats just how I am and I think. I have expressed myself and am therefore out of this debate. :) :) :)


Borakk,

 :) You'll understand with time... It's something natural. We all learn to value the immaterial--- life teaches.

You've expressed yourself, thank you for that. I thought you would avoid my posts. Thank you for proving my thoughts wrong. :) +rep for that. ;)

Your views will be respected and accepted, that's how we are and we think.  :) You don't need to agree with everything, you don't need to reflect what others think. Mirrors do the job better.

You just need to express yourself, without insulting others.

In simple words, marriage is a divine union. Next to God. :)

Offline astarmathsandphysics

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Re: Should marriage be a lifelong commitment?
« Reply #24 on: February 11, 2010, 03:07:25 pm »
Look at Hollywood stars. They don't get married these days without planning a divorce.

Offline Saladin

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Re: Should marriage be a lifelong commitment?
« Reply #25 on: February 11, 2010, 03:09:12 pm »
Stylish, I learnt a lot from Literature, and I still love it a lot. I love philosophy and innovation. What I aam about to say to you is an inspiration from To Kill A Mockingbird.


Now, I do not care what perspective you have, you are entitled to and will forever, be entitled to an oppinion. You are human, it is your birth right.

Now, this is what I have to say:

An oppinion is logic, the only oppinon that goes beyond logic is love and religeon.

Now, if your oppinion is something that is not logical, something that you have blind faith in, then I can do nothing to shake it. A man's stongest line to defence is his heart.

But if it is logic, if your logic has been overcome, then you should accept another man's oppinion, admiting defeat is not losing, it is being gr8, because u hav the guts to admit u were wrong.

Offline Saladin

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Re: Should marriage be a lifelong commitment?
« Reply #26 on: February 11, 2010, 03:10:21 pm »
@astar

see, thats proof of what marrige has degraded into because of premature notions of 'love' and 'lust', and the mixing of the two.

holtadit

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Re: Should marriage be a lifelong commitment?
« Reply #27 on: February 11, 2010, 04:48:09 pm »
Look at Hollywood stars. They don't get married these days without planning a divorce.

or prenupitals

Offline Saladin

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Re: Should marriage be a lifelong commitment?
« Reply #28 on: February 11, 2010, 04:55:05 pm »
They just want to be gossip.

Offline astarmathsandphysics

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Re: Should marriage be a lifelong commitment?
« Reply #29 on: February 11, 2010, 06:31:25 pm »
Am sure many hollywood marriages are made to make the papers