General Chat NEW! The Student Forums Chatroom > Funnies
Jokes and stuff...
Lana Wolf:
You know you've been In College Too Long...When...
You consider McDonald's "real food."
You actually like doing laundry at home.
4:00 AM is still early on the weekends.
It starts getting late on the weeknights.
Two miles is not too far to walk for a party.
You wear dirty socks three times in a row and think nothing of it.
You'd rather clean than study.
Half the time you don't wake up in your own bed and it seems normal.
Computer Solitaire is more than a game, it's a way of life.
You schedule your classes around sleep habits and soaps.You know the pizza boy by name.
You go to sleep when it's light and get up when it's dark.
You live for getting mail. (E-mail included)
Prank phone calls become funny again.
Wal-Mart is the coolest store.
World War III could take place and you'd be clueless.
You start thinking and sounding like your roommate.
Blacklights and highlighters are the coolest things on earth.
Rearranging your room is your favorite pastime.
You find out milk crates have so many uses.
The weekend lasts from Thursday to Sunday (or Wednesday morning to Tuesday night).
Lana Wolf:
Freds' Note
Ol' Fred had been a religious man who was in the hospital, near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them. As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on.
The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol' Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died. The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.
At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realised that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol' Fred died.
He said, "You know, Ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all."
He opened the note, and read out loud, "Hey, you're standing on my oxygen tube?"
SGVaibhav:
hmm i making this up ....
something like...
U put the white stuff in the hairy area..
then u keep rubbing it... rub it hard... and u will see white foam :P
shampooo
i know its not that good, but u all can rephrase it and make it better :P
Monica:
--- Quote from: <3 ~~Lana Wolf~~ <3 on February 15, 2010, 07:43:36 am ---Freds' Note
Ol' Fred had been a religious man who was in the hospital, near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them. As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on.
The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol' Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died. The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.
At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realised that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol' Fred died.
He said, "You know, Ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all."
He opened the note, and read out loud, "Hey, you're standing on my oxygen tube?"
--- End quote ---
hahahahaha....!!! Good one. :D
@sgvaibhav..loool..hahaha, u r trying to copy that joke..haha :P
nid404:
hey teju those were really good :D
I have 1 ;)
Letter from Banta Singh to Mr. Bill Gates
Subject: Problems with my new computer
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice:
1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.
2. One doubt is whether any “re-scooter” is available in system? I find only “re-cycle”, but I own a scooter at my home.
3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this 'find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.
4. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?
5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?
6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.
7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.
8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?
9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.
Regards,
Banta
Last one to Mr. Bill Gates:
Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS
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