LAME JOKES :D

[nid404]

who said i threw it...I don't throw things away....
~Pz~

[Tumble Bug]

It's brain gets teleported to another dimension by some outer-space, brain-feasting aliens....

Not a clue

loooooooooooool!!! ahahahah...dude your hilarious!!ahahahah

[~~~~shreyapril~~~~]

y do we have a crying ( ) smiley if they are known as smiley ...!

[happy angel]

Read the Ramayana in Englindi……
 
Believe you will enjoy it….!
 
 
A young second generation Indian in the US was asked by his mother to explain the significance of "Diwali" to his younger brother, this is how he went about it...

" So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him. But, like, his step-mom, or something, was kind of a b*tch, and she forced her husband to, like, send this cool-dude, he was Ram, to some national forest or something.... Since he was going, for like, something like more than 10 years or so.... he decided to get his wife and his bro along... you know...so that they could all chill out together. But Dude, the forest was reeeeal scary sh*t... really man...they had monkeys and devil s and sh*t like that. But this dude, Ram, kicked with darts and bows and arrows... so it was fine.
 
But then some bad gangsta boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his babe (Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And boy, was our man, and also his bro, Laxman, pissed... all the gods were with him... So anyways, you don't mess with gods. So, Ram, and his bro get an army of monkeys... Dude, don't ask me how they trained the damn monkeys... just go along with me, ok...
 
So, Ram, Lax and their monkeys whip this gangsta's A** in his own hood... Anyways, by this time, their time's up in the forest... and anyways... it gets kinda boring, you know... no TV or malls or sh*t like that. So,they decided to hitch a ride back home.... and when the people realize that our dude, his bro and the wife are back home...they thought, well, you know, at least they deserve something nice...and they didn't have any bars or clubs in those days... so they couldn't take them out for a drink, so they, like, decided to smoke and sh*t... and since they also had some lamps, they lit the lamps
also....so it was pretty cooool... you know with all those fireworks.... Really, they even had some local band play along with the fireworks... and you know, what, dude, that was the very first, no kidding.., that was the very first music-synchronized fireworks... you know, like the 4th of July stuff, but just, more cooler and stuff, you know. And, so dude, that was how, like, this festival started."

[Angel Of Love]

Jokes without sardarji is IMPOSSIBLE!!
so....
sardarji here....
A sardar was learning english, he introduced his family..
Hi I am sardar, this is my sardarni
He is my kid and she is my kidney

[DrEvil]

Jokes without sardarji is IMPOSSIBLE!!
so....
sardarji here....
A sardar was learning english, he introduced his family..
Hi I am sardar, this is my sardarni
He is my kid and she is my kidney

haha...really good one!

[Angel Of Love]

hey thanks a lot
n if any sardar sees this am sorry but here is one more to add to your anger..:

A Sardar was very fond of sensational and detective novels, but he always started reading from the middle. A friend of his asked why he did so?
"it's doubly interesting",said the sardar. "to start from the middle keeps one curious not only about its end but also about its beginning."

[DrEvil]

haha..

looks like u are a big fan a "sardar jokes"!!

anyways thanks!

[nid404]

A little old lady is on a bus, buying a ticket from the bus conductor, fumbling in a voluminous bag for the correct change. After 15 minutes the conductor becomes so enraged that he hits her on the head with the ticket-dispenser, and the poor old dear dies instantly.

Not surprisingly, he is convicted and put on death row. Just before he is to be electrocuted, his last request is for 12 pounds of bananas, which he devours. They strap him into the chair, flip the switch, and he just sits there, smiling.

According to tradition, this is considered a reprieve from God and he is freed. Somehow he gets his old job back, and he is happily dispensing tickets when he sees a girl stick her gum on the back of a seat on the bus. Enraged, he lunges out with the ticket dispenser, breaking the offender's neck and killing her.

Again, he is convicted and sent to death row. He again eats the 12 pounds of bananas, and lo and behold, the electricity does not harm him.

This time the executioner cleans the contacts, makes him sit in a bucket of water, he tries everything - but the conductor won`t die. So again, he is set free.

Amazingly he regains his job. It takes him 1 day to lose his temper and beat to death a young boy who starts to chew his bus ticket.

He returns to death row, eats the bananas, and survives the electrocution.

At this point, the executioner can take no more - his professional pride has been hurt. Before setting our friend free again, he asks him his secret - "what is it with the bananas?"

"Oh, the bananas have nothing to do with it", replies our friend. "I'm just a bad conductor."

[DrEvil]

rofl...really good one!

[nid404]

Priceless
Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party
After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room.
Those who remained talke d about their kids.
The first guy said, 'My son is my pride and joy.He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel.  He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.'
The second guy said, 'Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.'
The third man said: 'Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for hisbirthday:  A 30,000 square foot mansion.'
The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: 'What are all the congratulations for?'
One of the three said: 'We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. .What about your son? '
The fourth man replied: 'My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.'
The three friends said: 'What a shame... what a disappointment.'
The fourth man replied: 'No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too  bad either....
His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends.'

[SGVaibhav]

hahahahhaha
LOOOOOOOL
=====>OWNED<======

[Angel Of Love]

A man was in an elevator, and the operator kept calling him, 'son'. So the man said, 'why do you keep calling me son? You're not my father!' And the operator replied, 'I brought you up, didn't I?

[WARRIOR]

A man was in an elevator, and the operator kept calling him, 'son'. So the man said, 'why do you keep calling me son? You're not my father!' And the operator replied, 'I brought you up, didn't I?

LAMEEE! SO ITS a good one for this topic

[nid404]

There is this little boy and he is about to turn 10. His dad asked him what he wanted for his birthday. So his son says Dad, all I want is a ping pong ball. So his dad, puzzled, gets him a ping pong ball. He goes into the woods and comes back but he doesn't have the ping pong ball any more.

So he is about to turn 13 now. His dad asked him what he wanted for his birthday. So his son says Dad, all I want is a pack of ping pong ball. So his dad, puzzled, gets him a pack of ping pong balls. He goes into the woods and comes back but he doesn't have the ping pong balls any more.

So he is about to turn 16. His dad asked him what he wanted for his birthday. So his son says Dad, all I want is a box of ping pong balls. So his dad, puzzled, gets him a box of ping pong balls. He goes into the woods and comes back but he doesn't have the ping pong balls any more.

So he is turning 18 now. His dad asked him what he wanted for his birthday. So his son says Dad, all I want is a 5 gallon bucket of ping pong balls. So his dad, puzzled, gets him a 5 gallon bucket of ping pong balls. He goes into the woods and comes back but he doesn't have the ping pong balls any more.

Now he is turning 21. His dad asked him what he wanted for his birthday. So his son says Dad, all I want is a dump truck full of ping pong balls. So his dad, puzzled, gets him a dump truck full of ping pong balls. He goes into the woods and comes back but he doesn't have the ping pong balls any more.

A couple years later, his son gets in a terrible car accident and is hospitalized. So his dad is by his side and all, and he says to his son.....Son, I have to know one thing, WHAT in the world did you do with all those ping pong balls!??!?!?! His son looks up, and he says....Dad, I ........and then he died.

I was bored and sad