JOKES AND Riddles!!

[sanity_master]

kk.....enough jokes for today??

last joke:

Yo mama is so bald that when she takes a shower she gets brainwashed!


LOL.......hahahahaha

[ZeroZero82]

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA from which site you guys get the jokes?!

[Q80BOY]

k, last joke:

Yo mama so dirty she has to creep up on bathwater 

[Monica]

haha funny!! and yes enough jokes about yo mama!!

[Q80BOY]

A businessman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan. So the businessman hands over the keys to a Rolls-Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the businessman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest , which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is; why would you bother to borrow $5,000?

The businessman replied: Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks for 15 bucks?

[Q80BOY]

A lady and her young son were travelling in a taxi in New York. As it passed a particularly seedy part of the city the boy was fascinated by the garishly made-up women who were walking along the streets accosting some of the male passers-by. He asked his mum what they were doing and she replied in an embarassed voice that they were probably asking for directions. The taxi driver heard this and said "Why dontcha tell the boy the truth -- in udda words they're prostitutes." The lady blushed and the boy asked her "What are pros.... what the driver said? Are they like other women? Do they have children?" "Of course" said the mother "Where do you think New York taxi drivers come from?"

[ZeroZero82]

Yo mama's so stupid when she read this thread she thought we're complementing her

ok no more..

[Q80BOY]

Two prisoners, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker.

The priest had given the last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants. The warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, "Son, do you have a last request ?"

To which the man replied, "Yes sir, I do. I love dance music. Could you please play The Macarena for me one last time?"

"Certainly," replied the warden.

He turned to the other man and asked, "Well, what about you, son ? What is your final request?"

"Please," said the condemned man, "KILL ME FIRST."

[Q80BOY]

An old cowboy dressed to kill with cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him.

After she ordered her drink she turned to the cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?"

"Well, I have spent my whole life on the ranch herding cows, breaking horses, mending fences... I guess I am," replied the cowboy.

After a short while he asked her what she was.

"I've never been on a ranch so I'm not a cowboy, but I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning I think of women, when I eat, shower, watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women," told the young woman.

A short while later she left and the cowboy ordered another drink.

A couple sat down next to him and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

"I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian."

(is it over rated ??)

[Monica]

haha funny!!

ok solve this riddle!!

When is an apple not an apple??

[ZeroZero82]

A duck walks into a  bar and asks, "Got any grapes?"

The bartender, confused, tells the duck no. The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns and asks, "Got any grapes?"

Again, the bartender tells him, "No -- the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes and, furthermore, will never serve grapes." The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender yells, "Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!"

The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, "Got any nails?"

Confused, the bartender says no.

"Good!" says the duck. "Got any grapes?"

[Q80BOY]

haha funny!!

ok solve this riddle!!

When is an apple not an apple??

when it's in my stomach ?

[ZeroZero82]

 A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"

"What dear?" She asked gently.

"I think you bring me bad luck."

[Monica]

haha funny!!

ok solve this riddle!!

When is an apple not an apple??

when it's in my stomach ?

haha!! NO!!

the answer is when it is a pineapple!!

[Q80BOY]

lol

i hate pineapples !!