Author Topic: JOKES AND Riddles!!  (Read 370775 times)

Offline WARRIOR

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4605 on: May 20, 2010, 04:17:43 pm »
Two unemployed guys are talking. One says, “I’m going to become a lion tamer.”The other replies, “That’s crazy, you don’t know nothing about no lion taming.

”"Yes I do!”"Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roaring and biting, what you gonna do?”"Well, then I take that big chair they all carry, and I stick it in his face until he backs down.

”"Well, what if the lion takes that big paw, and hooks the chair with them big claws, and throws that chair out of the cage? What do you do then?”"Well, then I takes that whip they all carry, and I whip him and whip him until he backs down.

”"Well, what if that lion bites that whip with his big teeth, and bites it in two? What you gonna do then?”"Well, then I take that gun they all carry, and I shoot him.

”"Well, what if that gun doesn’t work? What will you do then?”
"Well, then I pick up some of the sh*t that’s on the bottom of the cage, and I throw it in his eyes, and I run out ofthe cage.”

"Well, what if there ain’t no sh*t in the bottom of the cage? What you gonna do then?”

"Well, that’s dumb. Cause if that lion comes at me, and he throws the chair out of the cage, and he bites the whip in two, and my gun don’t work, there’s going to be some sh*t on the bottom of that cage, you can bet on that.” :P :P
looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool :P

thx guys keep it comin :P

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nid404

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4606 on: May 20, 2010, 04:17:59 pm »
LMAO!!!  :D :D

Offline ksitna

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4607 on: May 20, 2010, 04:18:30 pm »
lolll good one!!!! ;D
take whatever you want and give nothing back :)

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4608 on: May 20, 2010, 04:20:44 pm »
thanks ;)
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Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4609 on: May 20, 2010, 04:22:53 pm »
                              GUY, MAID AND SWIMMING POOL!!! ;D

A guy dials his home and a strange woman answers.
The guy says, ”Who is this?”
”This is the maid,” answers the woman.
”We don’t have a maid,” says the man.
The woman says, ”I was hired this morning by the lady of the house.”
The man says, ”Well, this is her husband. Is she there?”
The woman replies, ”She is upstairs in the bed room with someone who I figured was her husband.”
The guy is fuming and says to the maid, ”Listen, would you like to make $50,000?”
The maid says, ”What will I have to do?”
The man tells her, ”I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the Bi*ch and the jerk she’s with.”
The maid puts the phone down; the man hears footsteps and then two gun shots.
The maid comes back to the phone, ”What do I do with the bodies?”
The man says, ”Throw them in the swimming pool.”
Puzzled, the maid answers, ”But you don’t have a pool.”
A long pause and the man says, ”Is this 567-5309?”
 :P :P :P :P :P
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nid404

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4610 on: May 20, 2010, 04:24:29 pm »
hahahahahahahahaha!!! lol  :P :P

Offline ksitna

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4611 on: May 20, 2010, 04:24:37 pm »
loll poor guy  :D
take whatever you want and give nothing back :)

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4612 on: May 20, 2010, 04:29:26 pm »
                                    Efficiency Expert Joke :P

A couple was having dinner in a nice restaurant,when they noticed that each of the waiters had a spoon in their shirt pocket.

When they asked their waiter why,he explained that an efficiency expert had determined that if they carried a spoon with them they would save a significant amount of time not going to the kitchen if someone dropped one.

 A while later they noticed that the waiters also had a string hanging out of their flys.When asked, the waiter explained that it was because they were told that when they went to the bathroom,if they tied the string to their private part they could use the string to remove it from their pants and then wouldn't have to wash their hands, saving important time.

 Well OK, said the customer,but how do you get it back in your pants? Oh that's easy,says the waiter, we use the spoon.

 :o :o :o :o :o :o
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Offline DrEvil

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4613 on: May 20, 2010, 04:31:18 pm »
                                    Efficiency Expert Joke :P

A couple was having dinner in a nice restaurant,when they noticed that each of the waiters had a spoon in their shirt pocket.

When they asked their waiter why,he explained that an efficiency expert had determined that if they carried a spoon with them they would save a significant amount of time not going to the kitchen if someone dropped one.

 A while later they noticed that the waiters also had a string hanging out of their flys.When asked, the waiter explained that it was because they were told that when they went to the bathroom,if they tied the string to their private part they could use the string to remove it from their pants and then wouldn't have to wash their hands, saving important time.

 Well OK, said the customer,but how do you get it back in your pants? Oh that's easy,says the waiter, we use the spoon.

 :o :o :o :o :o :o



hahahahaha...that made me laugh...good one!


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Offline ksitna

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4614 on: May 20, 2010, 04:32:04 pm »
ohhhh grosss  :-[
take whatever you want and give nothing back :)

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4615 on: May 20, 2010, 04:33:59 pm »
ooh, thanks..  ;)
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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4616 on: May 20, 2010, 04:38:02 pm »
The following story is true......

                                          NASA AND RUSSIA!!! ;D
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.
 ;) ;)
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Offline Nobody

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4617 on: May 20, 2010, 04:46:47 pm »
The following story is true......

                                          NASA AND RUSSIA!!! ;D
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.
 ;) ;)

Americans are really ...they can't beat us in knowledge.

i heard same thing in a movie.
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Offline ksitna

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4618 on: May 20, 2010, 04:47:22 pm »
loved it :P
take whatever you want and give nothing back :)

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4619 on: May 20, 2010, 04:49:08 pm »
thank u ;D
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