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Author Topic: JOKES AND Riddles!!  (Read 384409 times)

Offline Vin

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4530 on: May 17, 2010, 08:54:18 am »
Quote from: Baladya on May 16, 2010, 11:04:43 pm
YO MAMA JOKEESSS !!!! :D ;D

Yo mama is so old that she farts dust :D  >:D
Yo mama is so fat when she passed by my tv, i missed 4 seasons of prison break
Yo mama is so stupid she died from hunger when she got locked in a supermarket
Yo mama is so stupid she pied in her pants when got locked in a bathroom

Those are my fav ;D  :D ;D :D ;D
LOL

Yo mama is so fat you can run a whole marathon around her
Yo mama is so fat she’s got her own zip code
Yo mama is so fat I ran around her twice and got lost.

my favs =P
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Offline WARRIOR

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4531 on: May 17, 2010, 08:54:56 am »
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL THEYR BOTH INDIANS ......HAHAHHAHAAH :p
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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4532 on: May 17, 2010, 09:00:29 am »
Quote from: nid404 on May 17, 2010, 07:22:00 am
I got this one  ;D :P

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store
one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his
side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a
special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a
$5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man said, "I
don't think you understand, I want something very special."

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special
stock and brought another ring over.
"Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler
said. The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole
body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this
said, "We'll take it."

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old
man stated, by check. " I know you need to make sure
my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call
the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the
ring up Monday afternoon," he said.

Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old
man. "There's no money in that account."

"I know", said the old man, "but can you imagine the
weekend I had?"

@ nid -I was going to  post this one..... :(

@baladya nice one -I got that ........ ;)
when we say white white for10 times, we r inclined towards saying cows drink milk!!!! :P but they drink water!!! ;)

@ nobody- nice joke....... :P
« Last Edit: May 17, 2010, 09:06:29 am by lord kratos »
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Offline Nobody

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4533 on: May 17, 2010, 09:01:41 am »
Quote from: Kimo Jesus on May 17, 2010, 08:54:56 am
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL THEYR BOTH INDIANS ......HAHAHHAHAAH :p

You know hindi..? nice..where are you from?
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Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4534 on: May 17, 2010, 09:14:43 am »
                                                               DEFINITELY!!!! ;)

A nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?"

First a little girl says, "The sky is definitely blue."

The teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can sometimes be gray, or black."

A second little boy says, "Trees are definitely green."

"Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown."

Then little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks, "Does a fart have lumps?"

The teacher looks horrified and says, "Johnny! Of course not!!!"

"OK...then I DEFINITELY sh*t my pants!" :P
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Monica

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4535 on: May 17, 2010, 09:24:16 am »
Quote from: lord kratos on May 17, 2010, 09:14:43 am
                                                               DEFINITELY!!!! ;)

A nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?"

First a little girl says, "The sky is definitely blue."

The teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can sometimes be gray, or black."

A second little boy says, "Trees are definitely green."

"Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown."

Then little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks, "Does a fart have lumps?"

The teacher looks horrified and says, "Johnny! Of course not!!!"

"OK...then I DEFINITELY sh*t my pants!" :P

hahahahahahaha...!!!! LOL! Good one.  :P
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Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4536 on: May 17, 2010, 09:41:07 am »
                                   CORNIEST PICK UP LINES !!!!!!!!!! ::) ;)

Alright ladies, I admit... men have said some pretty corny things to break the ice. Pick-up lines have become somewhat of a novelty, only the coolest guys use them now (kidding). At any rate, here are the top 5 corniest pickup lines I've ever heard !!! :P

You must be the reason for global warming because you're hot!!

Is your name Gillette? Cause baby you’re the best a man can get!


Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past you again?!


You might as well sleep with me because I'm gonna tell everyone we did anyway!


I’ve heard sex is a killer. Wanna die happy?!!  ::)  ;) :P


                                                                                TO BE CONTINUED!!!! ;)

                                                        
« Last Edit: May 17, 2010, 09:53:58 am by lord kratos »
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nid404

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4537 on: May 17, 2010, 10:31:47 am »
Hahahahaha! Nice ones  :D :P
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Offline WARRIOR

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4538 on: May 17, 2010, 10:32:38 am »
loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool LOOOOOOORD HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA HAHAHAHAHA

HAHAAHAH LOL!!!!!
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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4539 on: May 17, 2010, 11:08:07 am »
two awesome jokes!!!!!


Who was the first sick-o to look at a cow and say “hmmm, I think i´l squeeze those dangly things and drink whatever comes out”?

That is an interesting qustion, but what really makes me wonder is – what if it had been a bull?   ::)  :P

another one!!!
                disclaimer!!!! read at ur own cost...... I shall not be responsible for the damage caused!!!! :P


once a women goes to a church to confess to a father.

women: father, father i just called a men yesterday a son of a b*tch.

father: there is no need to confess for that.

women : but father he touched my hands.

father : like this . (father touches her hand) there is no need to confess for that

women: but father he stripped my clothes.

father : like this . (father stripps her clothes) there is no need to confess for that.

women: but father he put his u know what in my u know where.

father : like this . (father makes out with her) there is no need to confess for that.

women : but father he had aids.

father : that son of a b*tch”"”"”"”"”‘




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Monica

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4540 on: May 17, 2010, 01:26:31 pm »
Quote from: lord kratos on May 17, 2010, 11:08:07 am
two awesome jokes!!!!!


Who was the first sick-o to look at a cow and say “hmmm, I think i´l squeeze those dangly things and drink whatever comes out”?

That is an interesting qustion, but what really makes me wonder is – what if it had been a bull?   ::)  :P

another one!!!
                disclaimer!!!! read at ur own cost...... I shall not be responsible for the damage caused!!!! :P


once a women goes to a church to confess to a father.

women: father, father i just called a men yesterday a son of a b*tch.

father: there is no need to confess for that.

women : but father he touched my hands.

father : like this . (father touches her hand) there is no need to confess for that

women: but father he stripped my clothes.

father : like this . (father stripps her clothes) there is no need to confess for that.

women: but father he put his u know what in my u know where.

father : like this . (father makes out with her) there is no need to confess for that.

women : but father he had aids.

father : that son of a b*tch”"”"”"”"”‘

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! This was really peverted  ::) but I like the end, this is what you got from doing what's wrong.  ;)  :P
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Offline WARRIOR

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4541 on: May 17, 2010, 06:16:27 pm »
Quote from: Nobody on May 17, 2010, 09:01:41 am
You know hindi..? nice..where are you from?

na im egyptian ..i used to be in an indian skool ( but they teach in english dont worry ) ..but i left to an english one to do my IGCSE :p

hehe nice joke :P
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But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward-Balboa

Offline Kim

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4542 on: May 17, 2010, 06:18:18 pm »
@kimo jesus-u stole my keyboard line
haha
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Offline WARRIOR

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4543 on: May 17, 2010, 06:19:38 pm »
Quote from: kim on May 17, 2010, 06:18:18 pm
@kimo jesus-u stole my keyboard line
haha
i couldnt resist looking at it everyday and laughing :P

i gave u credit :P ::) ::)
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NO secrets to SUCCESS , it is the result of 1.HARD WORK 2.GOOD PREPARATION 3.LEARNING FROM FAILURE
But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward-Balboa

Offline Kim

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4544 on: May 17, 2010, 06:20:34 pm »
@ kimo-the credit is appreciated haha
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After all is said and done, more is said than done.

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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