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JOKES AND Riddles!!

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dodi23:
Deep Thoughts
   

Why are they called a department if they are joined together?

An archaeologist is a best husband a woman can get. As older she grows, the more interested he isin her.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

If moths are attracted to bright lights, how come they sleep during the day?

I love being married. Its so great to find that special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Anyonewho thinks he is too small to make a difference has never been in bedwith a mosquito.

I wear my wifes glasses because she wants me to see things her way.

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs louder.

dodi23:
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with. If it just sits in your room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your phone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place, you either married it or gave birth to it.

elemis:
Nice one's dodi +rep.

dodi23:
Thanks ari ;)

   
I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and
exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age. A
little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do
you think I'll live to be 80?"

He asked, "Well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer/wine?"

"Oh no," I replied. "I've never done either."

Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"

I said "No, I've heard that all red meat is very unhealthy!"

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing,
ballooning, or rock climbing ?"

"No, I don't," I said.

He said, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or sexually fool around?"

"No," I said. "I've never done any of those things."

He looked at me and said, "Then why do you give a sh*t if you live to be
80?"

dodi23:
A little kid asks his father, "Daddy, is God a man or a woman?"
"Both son. God is both."

After a while the kid comes again and asks, "Daddy, is God black or white?"

"Both son, both."

The child returns a few minutes later and says, "Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?"

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