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JOKES AND Riddles!!
Q80BOY:
great stuff Lord!!! ;D
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
Thank you Q80BOY ;D. Long time no see. :)
Chosen Dude:
Hey guys :), heres one:
Rodney the rooster
This farmer has a bunch of hens that are not producing many
eggs. So one morning he goes out and buys a young horny rooster
in an effort to get his hens back into an egg laying mood.
He names him Rodney. Well that first day Rodney lays every hen
on the farm and at the end of the day the farmer finds Rodney
trying to make it with his horse. The farmer walks over to Rodney
and says "You've gotta slow down or you're going to kill yourself!"
The next day Rodney lays every hen again, and at the end of
the day the farmer finds the rooster now trying to make it
with his cow. The farmer walks over to Rodney and says "I told you, you better slow down or you're going to kill yourself."
The following morning Rodney lays every hen again, but this time,
he lays all the other farm animals as well. The farmer finds
all his animals passed out from exhaustion.
In the middle of all his animals is Rodney, laying with his legs
sticking straight up in the air and buzzards circling over head.
The farmer walks up to Rodney and says "See, I told you if you
didn't slow down, you'd kill yourself." Rodney opens one eye,
looks at the farmer and says, "Shhh, buzzards."
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
All of you guys will be killed by me. :P I'll make sure ur death painless :P :P
EL TORO ::)
A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico.
While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, 'What is that you just served?'
The waiter replied, 'Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!'
The cowboy said, 'What the heck, bring me an order.'
The waiter replied, 'I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.'
The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, 'These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.'
The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, 'Si,Senor. Sometimes the bull wins.'
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
For the ladies. :P
THE MULE ::)
An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.
One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on.
All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot.
At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd, when a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it.
So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.
The old farmer said: "Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement."
"And what about the men?" the minister asked. "They wanted to know if the mule was for sale.
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