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JOKES AND Riddles!!
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty.
He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?"
The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married."
"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."
holtadit:
@Lord Kratos I am sorry but I have to delete your joke. It is way too perverted.
dodi23:
lord kratooooos
u r seriously the joke master,,thts ur new nickname!!!
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
--- Quote from: The Lion Son Of Canaan on June 02, 2010, 02:23:48 pm ---@Lord Kratos I am sorry but I have to delete your joke. It is way too perverted.
--- End quote ---
oops, sorry dude. :( The joke was listed as a +15 joke, so I thought it would be safe to post it. :-\
Sorry, won't happen again. :'(
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
Here's another. ;D
Last time, I had posted the piss joke, this time its the poo joke :P I hope its not perverted. :P
Poo :P
The Ghost Poo:
The kind where you feel poo come out, see poo on the toilet paper, but there's no poo in the bowl.
The Clean poo:
The kind where you feel poo come out, see poo in the bowl, but there's no poo on the toilet paper.
The Wet Poo:
You wipe your butt fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So yo end up putting toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't ruin them with those dreadful skid marks.
The Wet Cheeks Poo:
That's the kind that comes out of your butt so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water, or splash-back.
The Second Wave Poo:
This poo happens when you think you've finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to poo some more.
The Brain Haemorrage-through-your-nose Poo:
You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.
The Lincoln Log Log-
The kind of poo that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.
The Power Dump Poo:
The kind that comes out so fast, you've barely got your pants down and you're done.
The Liquid Plumber Poo:
This kind of poo is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor. You should have followed the advice from the Lincoln Log Poo.
The Spinal Tap Poo:
The kind of poo that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got to be coming out sideways.
The 'I-think-I'm-turning-into-a-bunny' Poo:
When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splishy sounds when they hit the water.
The 'What-the-hell-died-in-here' Poo:
Also sometimes referred to as The Toxic Dump. Of course you don't warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odor. Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gagging and gasping for air.
The 'I-just-know-there's-a-turd-still-dangling-there' Poo:
Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last cling-on to drop.
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