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JOKES AND Riddles!!
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
Adam was feeling lonely in the Garden of Eden, and so God said:"I can create a woman for you." "What's that?" asked Adam.
"Oh, it's something really nice", God replied. "Lovely to look at, gentle, kind, sex whenever you want it, never has a headache..."
"Sounds great", said Adam, "but I bet it doesn't come cheap. What'll it cost me?" "An arm and a leg", God replied. Adam thought about it for a minute, then asked: "What can I have for a rib?" The rest is history...
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
Two KGB agents are taking a walk in a Moscow suburb. One says to the other "You know Dimitri, I have had training to make anyone, and I mean anyone talk through the power of the mind" "Really? Prove it" Replies Pavel Dimitri pointed to a long queue of people outside a Bakers shop.
"See that queue. I can make the owner come out and tell them that he has sold out. Watch" Dimitri closed his eyes and concentrated on the shop. Sure enough after one minute the owner popped out and announced that he had completely sold out. The queue dispersed, but the people complaimned loudly that there was clearly plenty of bread for sale.
Both agents walked on. "Hmm, impressive but I am still not convinced" said Pavel. The two continued until they reached a miserable part of the city. "See that apartment block?" Said Dimitri. "Well, just watch, I can make the owner of that one on the fifth floor throw out his TV" "Go ahead" Said Pavel. So Dimitri closed his eyes concentrated on the apartment.
After two minutes nothing had happened. "Ha! What rubbish" said Pavel. Dimitri raised his hands skywards as if to invoke a deity. Five more minutes passed. "Oh come on lets go. This just proves it's all rubbish" insisted Pavel "One last try" Said Dimitri, and he screwed up his face and concentrated with all his might. After two minutes a man ran to the fifth floor balcony screaming "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? I DON'T HAVE A TV!!!!!!!!!".
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
Three Texan surgeons playing a round of golf.
As they're walking down the fairway, they strike up a conversation and the first surgeon says, " I reckon I'm the best surgeon in the world".
The other two enquire why and the first surgeon says, "I had a patient brought to me recently who had lost both his hands in an industrial accident. I sewed them back on and today that man has an audience to play the piano for Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth".
The second surgeon scoffs at this and says,"that's nothing. Why I had a patient who lost both his arms in an automobile accident and I sewed them back on. At the last Olympic Games that man won a Gold Medal in the Field events".
The third surgeon says, "that's nothing. Several years ago a cowboy, high on alcohol and drugs, was riding his horse down a railroad track and collided with an oncoming express train. All I had to work with was the horse's arse and a cowboy hat. Today that man is the EX-President of the USA.
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
MUAHAHAHAAA >:D >:D
A woman walks into a shop with her two kids. The shopkeeper asks, "Are they twins?" "No," the woman responds, surprised. "One is 7, the other is 9. Do they look alike?" The shopkeeper shrugs his shoulders and says "No, I just can't believe someone like you got laid twice!"
6394:
buaahhahahaha
:D
:D
lmfao
*tears in my eyes*
mr joke master!!!
:P
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