Author Topic: JOKES AND Riddles!!  (Read 337735 times)

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4965 on: May 30, 2010, 06:40:11 pm »
Her catty sense r mayb another admin whose misusing der power ::)

Yep, admin dictatorship!!!!! >:( >:(


@ Kratos keep ur private life(gf), away frm preying eyes.. :P
I should follow ur nice suggestion!!!! ;D
If you don't like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4966 on: May 30, 2010, 06:46:30 pm »
@Baladya, thank you. =]

@immortal, No. I do not misuse my admin power.


Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4967 on: May 30, 2010, 08:38:27 pm »
Here's a new one :P :P


I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.

My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!

There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when quite near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome.

She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word.

She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.

I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car.

My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

The moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car!
If you don't like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4968 on: May 30, 2010, 08:40:00 pm »
Here's another!!!! ;D ;D ;D


Young David came home from school one day and found his pet chicken laying on the ground with his legs pointing straight up into the sky. When his father got home, he explained that the chicken has died and his legs were pointed up to Jesus in heaven.

They buried the chicken and that was that. Two weeks later his dad came home from work and David ran up to him yelling, "Daddy, Daddy, we nearly lost Mommy today."

"What?" his father replied.

"When I got home from school, Mommy was laying on the bed with her legs pointing up in the air yelling, 'Jesus, I'm coming, Jesus I'm coming.' If it wasn't for Uncle Terry holding her down we would have lost her for sure!"
If you don't like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4969 on: May 30, 2010, 08:40:31 pm »
Another!!! ;)

A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, "Where's Mom and dad?" and she replied, "they're up in bed."

The little boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play. Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma "where's Mom and Dad?" and she replied "they're still up in bed."

Again the little boy started to giggle and he ate his lunch and went out to play. Then the little boy came in for dinner and once again he asked his grandma "where's Mom and dad?" and his grandmother replied "they're still up in bed."

The little boy started to laugh and his grandmother asked, "what gives? Every time I tell you they're still up in bed you start to laugh! what is going on here?" The little boy replied, "well last night daddy came into my bedroom and asked me for the Vaseline and I gave him super glue."
If you don't like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk

Offline Kim

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4970 on: May 30, 2010, 08:43:49 pm »
Another!!! ;)

A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, "Where's Mom and dad?" and she replied, "they're up in bed."

The little boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play. Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma "where's Mom and Dad?" and she replied "they're still up in bed."

Again the little boy started to giggle and he ate his lunch and went out to play. Then the little boy came in for dinner and once again he asked his grandma "where's Mom and dad?" and his grandmother replied "they're still up in bed."

The little boy started to laugh and his grandmother asked, "what gives? Every time I tell you they're still up in bed you start to laugh! what is going on here?" The little boy replied, "well last night daddy came into my bedroom and asked me for the Vaseline and I gave him super glue."


hahahhahaha
lol real funny
After all is said and done, more is said than done.

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4971 on: May 30, 2010, 08:45:24 pm »
Thanks kim!!!! ;D
If you don't like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4972 on: May 30, 2010, 08:57:55 pm »
Here's another one!!! ;D

What did the instructor at the school for Kamikaze pilots say to his students?

Watch closely. I'm only going to do this once.
If you don't like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk

Offline Kim

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4973 on: May 30, 2010, 09:03:54 pm »
Here's another one!!! ;D

What did the instructor at the school for Kamikaze pilots say to his students?

Watch closely. I'm only going to do this once.

hahaha dude awesome
After all is said and done, more is said than done.

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Offline guMnam

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4974 on: May 30, 2010, 11:00:12 pm »
I am not silly or dumb. You are not being clear here.

And no, you can't change or stop that.
Okay go to ur profile then setings. Then forum layout setings i m nkt sure if it is that option bu in one of them ull find many chek boxex. One of tyem stops it .:::.:.:$:$

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4975 on: May 31, 2010, 05:32:59 am »
lmfao
dose are jus 2 hilarios
:D :d :D

Offline guMnam

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4976 on: May 31, 2010, 07:19:34 am »
Another!!! ;)

A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, "Where's Mom and dad?" and she replied, "they're up in bed."

The little boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play. Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma "where's Mom and Dad?" and she replied "they're still up in bed."

Again the little boy started to giggle and he ate his lunch and went out to play. Then the little boy came in for dinner and once again he asked his grandma "where's Mom and dad?" and his grandmother replied "they're still up in bed."

The little boy started to laugh and his grandmother asked, "what gives? Every time I tell you they're still up in bed you start to laugh! what is going on here?" The little boy replied, "well last night daddy came into my bedroom and asked me for the Vaseline and I gave him super glue."

hahaha lol...super glue

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Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4977 on: May 31, 2010, 10:31:45 am »
ANother one guys!!!! 8) 8) 8) 8)Am I cool or what? 8) 8) 8)


Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

 There was snow mixed with the rain, and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

She sleepily replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that crap?"
If you don't like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk

Offline Kim

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4978 on: May 31, 2010, 10:47:23 am »
ANother one guys!!!! 8) 8) 8) 8)Am I cool or what? 8) 8) 8)


Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

 There was snow mixed with the rain, and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

She sleepily replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that crap?"


nice dude hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
 8)
After all is said and done, more is said than done.

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Offline guMnam

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4979 on: May 31, 2010, 01:25:50 pm »
Here's a new one :P :P


I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.

My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!

There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when quite near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome.

She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word.

She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.

I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car.

My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

The moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car!

hahahhahhahahahaha LOL   lol....i m on the floor

I <3 Challenges
Never give up :)