General Chat NEW! The Student Forums Chatroom > Funnies
JOKES AND Riddles!!
ksitna:
hehe thanks
i felt sorry for him too :P
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
Two unemployed guys are talking. One says, “I’m going to become a lion tamer.”The other replies, “That’s crazy, you don’t know nothing about no lion taming.
”"Yes I do!”"Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roaring and biting, what you gonna do?”"Well, then I take that big chair they all carry, and I stick it in his face until he backs down.
”"Well, what if the lion takes that big paw, and hooks the chair with them big claws, and throws that chair out of the cage? What do you do then?”"Well, then I takes that whip they all carry, and I whip him and whip him until he backs down.
”"Well, what if that lion bites that whip with his big teeth, and bites it in two? What you gonna do then?”"Well, then I take that gun they all carry, and I shoot him.
”"Well, what if that gun doesn’t work? What will you do then?”
"Well, then I pick up some of the sh*t that’s on the bottom of the cage, and I throw it in his eyes, and I run out ofthe cage.”
"Well, what if there ain’t no sh*t in the bottom of the cage? What you gonna do then?”
"Well, that’s dumb. Cause if that lion comes at me, and he throws the chair out of the cage, and he bites the whip in two, and my gun don’t work, there’s going to be some sh*t on the bottom of that cage, you can bet on that.” :P :P
ksitna:
nice one kratos :)
nid404:
lmao!! :D :D :P
ksitna:
Wrong Color Suit
An old lady was very upset as her husband Albert had just passed away. She went to the undertakers to have one last look at her dearly departed husband. The instant she saw him she started crying. The mortician walked over to comfort her. Through her tears she explained that she was upset because her dearest Albert was wearing a black suit, and it was his fervent wish to be buried in a blue suit.
The mortician apologized and explained that traditionally they always put bodies in a black suit, but he'd see what he could arrange.
The next day she returned to the funeral parlor to have one last moment with Albert before the funeral the following day.
When the mortician pulled back the curtain, she managed a smile through her tears as Albert was resplendent in a smart blue suit. She said to the mortician, "Wonderful, wonderful, but where did you get that beautiful suit?"
"Well, yesterday afternoon after you left, a man about your husband's size was brought in and he was wearing a blue suit," the mortician replied. "His wife was quite upset because she wanted him buried in the traditional black suit."
Albert's wife smiled at the undertaker.
"After that," he continued, "it was just a matter of swapping the heads."
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version