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JOKES AND Riddles!!
WARRIOR:
--- Quote from: lord kratos on May 19, 2010, 10:31:30 pm --- DRUNKEN REINCARNATION :P
James, as usual, came home really late one Saturday night after being at the bar all night drinking. Not only was he drunk, he was sloppy drunk. He carefully crept into bed next his wife, who fell sleep angry hours earlier, and gave her a goodnight kiss on the check in hopes that she wouldn't wake up.
He awoke in the middle of the night to a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. "Who the hell are you," demanded James, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?" The mysterious man answered "This is not your bedroom, and my name is St. Peter".
James didn't take the news so well... "You mean I'm dead! That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't even said goodbye to my family... you've got to send me back right away!"
St. Peter replied "You cannot go back as you were, you have passed away James. However, you can be reincarnated - but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen." James was devastated, but knowing that there was a farm just down the road from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.
A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking at corn on the ground. "This ain't so bad," he thought until he felt a strange feeling churning inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen, huh? How are you enjoying your first day here?" "It's not so bad" repliesJames , "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode". "You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "haven't you ever laid an egg before?"
"Never" replies James.
"Well just relax and let it happen."
And so he did, and just a few uncomfortable seconds later an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him - emotions got the better of him as he experienced the joy motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him... ever!
The joy of motherhood continued to build and, just as he was just about to lay his third egg, he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shout "James, wake up you drunken bas*ard, you're sh*tting the bed!" :P
--- End quote ---
disgusting :P btu nice 1 :P
ksitna:
--- Quote from: Kimo Jesus on May 19, 2010, 06:05:24 am ---hahaha nice 1 :P remiinds me of this egyptian one
an egyptian man fell down in a very deep hole..so they threw him a rope..he came back up as a dead man...
( he tied the rop on this neck ) hehe :P
--- End quote ---
loll haha
thank u :D
ksitna:
An old man decided his old wife was getting hard of hearing. So he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked. The doctor said he could see her in two weeks, and meanwhile there's a simple, informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the dimensions of the problem.
"Here's what you do. Start about 40 feet away from her, and speak in a normal onversational tone and see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."
So that evening she's in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he's in the living room, and he says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens."
"Honey, what's for supper?"
No response.
So he moves to the other end of the room, about 30 feet away. "Honey, what's for supper?"
No response.
So he moves into the dining room, about 20 feet away. "Honey, what's for supper?"
No response.
On to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for supper?".
No response.
So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for supper?"
"For the fifth time, CHICKEN!"
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
Nice ksitna!!!! ;D
poor old guy :P :P
nid404:
hahahaha! nice one! :D
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