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JOKES AND Riddles!!
Baladya:
This is only for Bob Marley fans, other lamers who don't listen to him, don't read... (jk ofc xD ;D U just might not get some :P)
Q. Why did they have so much trouble burying Bob Marley?
A. His coffin kept jammin'
Q: How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?
A: Wi' jam in! ('We jammin')
What did Bob Marley say when his wife left him and took the TV?
No Woman No Sky.
What did Bob Marley say when his wife left him and took the oven?
No Woman, No Pie
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
FLAT ....... WOMAN !!!! :P
A woman has a really flat chest so she's very sad about her flat chest...
As she was weeping alone at night,a fairy god mother comes and says what's the matter, why r u crying my child n she says my chest is too flat then the fairy says ok.I'll help u.Every time a man says pardon to u,ur breasts will grow an inch . Later she's walking down the street n a man runs into her n said o pardon me n her boobs grow an inch.
The women is very pleased. Later on that day the same thing happened twice!! . That night she went to a restaurant n the waiter spilled some wine on her dress and the waiter says o 1000 pardons madam!!!!
:o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
Baladya:
--- Quote from: lord kratos on May 19, 2010, 12:43:22 pm --- FLAT ....... WOMAN !!!! :P
A woman has a really flat chest so she's very sad about her flat chest...
As she was weeping alone at night,a fairy god mother comes and says what's the matter, why r u crying my child n she says my chest is too flat then the fairy says ok.I'll help u.Every time a man says pardon to u,ur breasts will grow an inch . Later she's walking down the street n a man runs into her n said o pardon me n her boobs grow an inch.
The women is very pleased. Later on that day the same thing happened twice!! . That night she went to a restaurant n the waiter spilled some wine on her dress and the waiter says o 1000 pardons madam!!!!
:o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
--- End quote ---
MUAHAHAHAHHAH xD ;D ;D ;D
Dude u gotta stop these jokes xD Awesome but wrong place ;) :D :D
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
DRUNKEN REINCARNATION :P
James, as usual, came home really late one Saturday night after being at the bar all night drinking. Not only was he drunk, he was sloppy drunk. He carefully crept into bed next his wife, who fell sleep angry hours earlier, and gave her a goodnight kiss on the check in hopes that she wouldn't wake up.
He awoke in the middle of the night to a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. "Who the hell are you," demanded James, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?" The mysterious man answered "This is not your bedroom, and my name is St. Peter".
James didn't take the news so well... "You mean I'm dead! That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't even said goodbye to my family... you've got to send me back right away!"
St. Peter replied "You cannot go back as you were, you have passed away James. However, you can be reincarnated - but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen." James was devastated, but knowing that there was a farm just down the road from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.
A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking at corn on the ground. "This ain't so bad," he thought until he felt a strange feeling churning inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen, huh? How are you enjoying your first day here?" "It's not so bad" repliesJames , "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode". "You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "haven't you ever laid an egg before?"
"Never" replies James.
"Well just relax and let it happen."
And so he did, and just a few uncomfortable seconds later an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him - emotions got the better of him as he experienced the joy motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him... ever!
The joy of motherhood continued to build and, just as he was just about to lay his third egg, he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shout "James, wake up you drunken bas*ard, you're sh*tting the bed!" :P
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
thanks baladya ;D, I like the way the admin kicks the user in ur sig!!! ;)
Such a powerful kick :o, I can only pray for the old granny that her brain didnot get squashed!!!! ::) :P
and I can only hope that the admins in this forum dont have a badass kick like that!!!! ;)
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