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Romeesa-Chan:
^Beautiful, Masha Allah.

Family <3

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Recovering from a bad marriage breakup (A Personal Story)

Story of a Muslim sister who had a rough start in her married life …

When a girl enters marriage, the minimum expectations she has are that she would be able to establish a peaceful, and if possible, friendly relationship with her husband. If she has confidence about herself that she won’t pose any demands of wealth and riches on her husband, she further feels assured that he would be appreciative and there won’t be any scope for quarrels.

It was with such expectations that I entered married life. My husband soon realized that I wasn’t demanding and mentioned to my mother that Allah had given him better than he had expected. And I happily believed that my marital life had started on a proper note and hence will continue on the right track.

But sad to say this anticipation soon met with disappointment as expectations from my husband started rearing their ugly head. These expectations pertained to something that was not in my power to control or provide. I had become pregnant just a month after getting married and within 7 weeks of pregnancy my problems started. I had to consult a gynecologist who said that if I wanted to save the pregnancy, I’d have to take total bed rest. My husband preferred not to follow the doctor’s advice. His mother and elder brother chose to believe that I was being unnecessarily delicate and fussy. They were of the opinion that to survive in this world you need to be tough, and sadly, quite heartlessly they started trying to impart lessons in ‘toughness’ to me by ignoring my genuine need for rest and being totally insensitive to my feelings and pain – both physical and mental.

Well, things came to such a pass that I aborted a 16 weeks’ foetus, first getting scolded by the doctor for not following her instructions, and then faced by the bleak scenario of putting up with taunts about my delicacy which had already started coming from my mother-in-law. My husband was of no help either. Neither could he console me nor did he provide any assurance about the future. When I was in my parents’ house, taking rest, he did not visit me, but kept asking me to return, sometimes threatening, sometimes persuading with false hopes. His total lack of understanding and sympathy spelt out clearly over the phone, made me shed such tears as I hadn’t shed in my 24 years of life. I realized that this relationship could not continue, but was scared of taking the initiative in separation as a Hadith of our Prophet (S.A.W.S.) says that a woman who resorts to ‘Khula’ (divorce sought by the wife) without a valid reason, would not be able to even smell the fragrance of Paradise.

My parents arranged for a meeting with an Islamic scholar, a Mufti, who explained to me that the clause ‘for no valid reason’ is important and this is to ensure that divorce is not taken lightly. He told me that my conscience should guide me, and eventually my honesty with myself is a matter between me and Allah. He also reminded me that Allah is Well Aware of each individual’s capacity of endurance. So, wanting to give my marriage a second chance, I went back to see if there were any changes (as my husband had been promising me). However, within four days I realized that nothing had changed, my husband actually telling me that he was doing me a favor out of pity for my “Kismet”. I told my mother that I was worried about the future (of a divorcee) and hence chose to continue the relationship which now had nothing for me. My mother asked me to visualize a life all alone and compare it with the present one and see which condition I would prefer. I immediately said, ‘Being alone’. She said if that were the case there was no point in continuing such a relationship. I finally opted out of it.

My first reaction was, “Thank God I’m following Islam which has a provision for a woman to end a relationship that holds only suffering for her.” There was no need to resort to any long drawn out court case.

I told my parents not to blame themselves for not having made enough enquiries about the boy, since one can’t know before hand how he is going to treat his wife. (Islam closes the door for “If I had done this or that…..” Everything that happens, happens according to Allah’s Will (concept of Qada wal-Qadr) which has to be accepted without complaints, but with dependence on Him and prayers and hopes for the future.)

I thanked Allah that I was still physically and mentally sound and had enough education to be independent and not a burden on my parents. (We should be grateful to Allah for whatever Blessings are still being enjoyed by us.)

Having gone through a miscarriage I wasn’t sure whether I’d be able to carry a pregnancy full term. So when my parents brought up the question of second marriage I said I didn’t mind marrying a widower and accepting his kids.

Having stayed in the first relationship for 6 months, I had guilty feelings about having caused hurt to a person’s feelings by breaking the bond. My mother advised me to pray for him, since we are all human beings liable to commit blunders. He had committed a blunder of not understanding a woman’s delicacy (of constitution) and feelings, but that didn’t mean that we should become vengeful and resort to anger or accusations. So I prayed for him as I was praying for myself and this gave me peace of mind. (In the Quran, where the provision of ‘Khula’- divorce initiated by the woman – is mentioned, the instruction given by Allah is that both should separate ‘gracefully’ and Allah Will provide for both.) My parents and I tried our best to follow Quranic instructions closely.

I am now happy to share with you that a few years ago I got married to my present husband who was still unmarried. It wasn’t as if he knew me or my nature. He was a total stranger to us. He was working abroad. When someone asked him why he chose to marry a divorcee while he himself had not yet been married, he said he was fulfilling a Sunnah of our Prophet (S.A.W.S.) since our Prophet also had married a divorcee. He kept asking my parents whether they had taken my consent.

It is 4 years now since we’ve been married and he has proved to be a genuine person. He follows Islam as it should be followed; treats me as a companion and friend; has never given me the feeling that he has done a favor to me. And when I again needed bed rest during pregnancy, I got it. He prayed for a daughter and Allah (S.W.T.) has blessed us with a daughter. Alhamdolillah I consider myself really blessed by Allah.

Lessons learned:

(1) Don’t let obstacles deter you from your faith in Allah.

(2) Obstacles in life sometimes pave the way for a better life.

(3) No matter what your situation, Allah will find a way for you if you have Tawakkul in Him.

(4) If you get into an unpleasant situation with another Muslim, don’t become vengeful. On the other hand, by having a big heart and praying for the other person not only will help that person but will have angels praying for you (per a hadith) and improve your situation, as well as will earn you Allah’s pleasure.

(5) Even in the toughest of times, we should be grateful to Allah and recognize His Blessings on us.

 

May Allah ease all our affairs and provide us the right perspective and courage to face them!

iluvme:
Real touching story, amazing as usual :)

Amelia:
? A Love letter from A Muslim Man to the Girl He loves ?

“if you love me, don’t confess your love to me, this won’t please me and will keep me away! love words don’t attract me. If you love me, wait for me and I will knock on your door in the right time. Don’t give me privileges which I don’t deserve. Keep me away from you, and I will approach you. If you approach me, I will stay away from you. Don’t love me, for I want you ignorant in love. I want to teach you love when the right time come and you will be my Halal, only when we are joined together under our Creator’s satisfaction.
don’t tell me what you feel, don’t give me from your time, don’t push me to lose you. I am a man who won’t accept to see the one he loves committing sins or to live a forbidden love behind the back of her family. I don’t want her to feel guilty and don’t want her heart to suffer.
put limits to me that I won’t cross, kill me inside you so I won’t grow to kill you. Preserve what is beautiful inside you. I want you innocent, chaste, pure. I want you dear, not easy. And then, Only then, I will face everything and will be ready to go through difficulties to get you
How could I be a faithful man to you when I try to break your chastity? How would I be faithful to you if I push you to betray your family? How could I trust a love which grew under Allah’s wrath ? To love you means to protect you, to preserve you not to kill what is beautiful in you.
Don’t be easy because then, I may not value you. Don’t love me now, so I won’t hate you! My heart wants you and doesn’t want to lose you. I don’t want you to be just a passing fancy to me, I want you a wife, a lover, the mother of my children, I want you to be the one I will spend my whole life with”

Jazakallah to the sister that posted this on our wall! Just thought id repost it so more people will be able to view :) Its a truly beautiful piece mash'Allah

Romeesa-Chan:
^Very lovely, mA. <3


Bad Muslim VS Good Muslim

*Off goes the azan,
Oh what the heck?
I’ll carry on what I’m doing,
‘because praying is boring.

**My alarm goes off,
5.00 It reads,
I jump out of bed,
On the floor goes my head.

*Mom asks to give her a hand,
But nah who cares,
Got my games to be solved,
Don’t wanna get involved.

**Mom's busy doing her thing,
I can see her struggling,
I give her a smile,
And start stacking everything into a pile.

*Dad calls to read the Quran,
But that would take too long,
Let’s check out what’s on TV,
Hope dad won’t notice me.

**Dad’s sitting down,
With the Holy Quran,
I collect the little ones,
And join him to praise the Mighty One.

*Big brother forces to go to mosque,
No choice, I have to go,
I’ll pray as fast as I can,
So that I come back and continue my plan.

**Big brother doing the right thing,
Calling me to prayer,
So I can attain Paradise,
I cannot wait for the beautiful prize.

*Big sister teaches me Hadith and Quran,
Oh man, can I have a break?
I have nothing to do with these,
Seem useless, someone stop her please.

**Big sister wanting the best,
So she makes sure I pass my test,
With the Hadiths and Quran in my heart,
Nothing can tear me apart.

*Some people say we’ll die,
This isn’t the real life,
But I don’t believe there’s an end,
They are just mad, don’t understand.

**Some say we will die,
Others say we’ll just come back,
But believe in your Lord,
This is nothing but a laid back tour.


By: Abd Farhan and Shumina Uddin

Romeesa-Chan:

There were only 15 minutes left before Salat-ul Isha.
He quickly made Wudhu and performed Salat-ul Maghrib.

While making Tasbih, he again remembered his grandmother and was embarrassed by how he had prayed.

His grandmother prayed with such tranquillity and peace.
He began making Dua and went down to make Sajdah and stayed like that for a while.

He had been at work all day and was tired, so tired.

He awoke abruptly to the sound of noise and shouting.

He was sweating profusely.

He looked around.

It was very crowded.

Every direction he looked in was filled with people.

Some stood frozen looking around, some were running left and right and some were on their knees with their heads in their hands just waiting.

Pure fear and apprehension filled him as he realized where he was.

His heart was about to burst.

It was the Day of Judgment.

When he was alive, he had heard many things about the questioning on the

Day of Judgment, but that seemed so long ago..

Could this be something his mind made up?

No, the wait and the fear were so great that he could not have imagined this.

The interrogation was still going on.

He began moving frantically from people to people to ask if his name had been called.

No one could answer him.

All of a sudden his name was called and the crowd split into two and made a passageway for him.

Two angels grabbed his arms and led him forward.

He walked with unknowing eyes through the crowd.

The angels brought him to the centre and left him there.

His head was bent down and his whole life was passing in front of his eyes like a movie.

He opened his eyes but saw only another world.

The people were all helping others.

He saw his father running from one lecture to the other, spending his wealth in the way of Islam.
His mother invited guests to their house and one table was being set while the other was being cleared.

He pleaded his case,

'I too was always on this path..

I helped others.

I spread the word of Allah.
I performed my Salah.

I fasted in the month of Ramadhan.

Whatever Allah ordered us to do, I did.

Whatever he ordered us not to do, I did not.'

He began to cry and think about how much he loved Allah.
He knew that whatever he had done in life would be less than what Allah deserved and his only protector was Allah He was sweating like never before and was shaking all over.

His eyes were fixed on the scale, waiting for the final decision.
At last, the decision was made.

The two angels with sheets of paper in their hands, turned to the crowd.

His legs felt like they were going to collapse.

He closed his eyes as they began
To read the names of those people who were to enter Jahannam.

His name was read first.

He fell on his knees and yelled that this couldn't be,

'How could I go to Jahannam?

I served others all my life,
I spread the word of Allah to others'.

His eyes had become blurry and he was shaking with sweat.

The two angels took him by the arms.

As his feet dragged, they went through the crowd and advanced toward the blazing flames of Jahannam.

He was yelling and wondered if there was any person who was going to help him.

He was yelling of all the good deeds he had done, how he had helped his father, his fasts, prayers, the Noble Qur'an that he read, he was asking if none of them would help him.

The Jahannam angels continued to drag him.

They had gotten closer to the Hellfire.

He looked back and these were his last pleas.

Had not Rasulullah [SAW] said,
'How clean would a person be who bathes in a river five times a day, so too does the Salah performed five times cleanse someone of their sins'?

He began yelling,

'My prayers? My prayers? My prayers.?'
The two angels did not stop, and they came to the edge of the abyss of Jahannam.

The flames of the fire were burning his face.

He looked back one last time, but his eyes were dry of hope and he had nothing left in him.

One of the angels pushed him in.

He found himself in the air and falling towards the flames.

He had just fallen five or six feet when a hand grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back.
He lifted his head and saw an old man with a long white beard.

He wiped some dust off himself and asked him,

'Who are you?'

The old man replied,

'I am your prayers'.

'Why are you so late! I was almost in the Fire!

You rescued me at the last minute before I fell in'.

The old man smiled and shook his head,

'You always performed me at the last minute, did you forget?'
At that instant, he blinked and lifted his head from Sajdah.

He was in a sweat.

He listened to the voices coming from outside.

He heard the Adhan for Salat-ul Isha.

He got up quickly and went to perform Wudhu.

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