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>> SCIENCE JOKES ONLY << || ONLY SCIENCE PEOPLE ALLOWED =P
Romeesa-Chan:
~Biology:
-Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages? He was a man of many cultures.
-Confucius's once said, "When you breathe, you inspire, and when you do not breathe, you expire."
-Q: What is the fastest way to determine the sex of a chromosome?
A: Pull down its genes.
-A guy goes into a bar and asks ''can I have a pint of energy please?''
The barman pulls the pint and says ''that'll be 80p please'' (80p read ATP)
-Why did the chicken cross the road?
Darwin1: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
Darwin2: The fittest chickens cross the road.
-Q: what do you call the leader of a biology gang?
A: The nucleus.
-A TV viewer sent a headline to the Jay Leno Tonight Show that read "Integration of Physics into Cellular Biology Leads to Epidermal Solar Cells with Growth Vectors."
~Chemistry:
-A group of organic molecules were having a party, when a group of robbers broke into the room and stole all of the guest's joules. A tall, strong man, armed with a machine gun came into the room and killed the robbers one by one. The guests were very grateful to this man, and they wanted to know who he was. He replied: My name is BOND, Covalent Bond.
-what did the confused magnesium oxide say
OMg
-Neutron walks into a bar, ask the barman "how much for a pint"...... barman says "for you? no charge!"
-Two atoms are walking down a road, one says to the other "i think i just lost an electron", second atom says "are you sure?", first atom replies "yes, i'm positive!"
-Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.
-If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
-According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
-What's the difference between Chemistry and cooking? In Chemistry, you should never lick the spoon.
-What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties? Methylated spirits.
-What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.
~Physics:
-Q: What is the name of the first electricity detective?
A: Sherlock Ohms
-Q: What did one quantum physicist say when he wanted to fight another quantum physicist?
A: Let me atom.
-Q: What is the simplest way to observe the optical Doppler effect?
A: Go out at and look at cars. The lights of the ones approaching you are white, while the lights of the ones moving away from you are red.
-What is the difference between a physicist, an engineer, and a mathematician?
If an engineer walks into a room and sees a fire in the middle and a bucket of water in the corner, he takes the bucket of water and pours it on the fire and puts it out.
If a physicist walks into a room and sees a fire in the middle and a bucket of water in the corner, he takes the bucket of water and pours it eloquently around the fire and lets the fire put itself out.
If a mathematician walks into a room and sees a fire in the middle and a bucket of water in the corner, he convinces himself there is a solution and leaves.
-Question:
Upon entering a laboratory, you see an experiment. How do you know which class it belongs to?
Answer:
If it's green and wiggles, it's biology.
If it stinks, it's chemistry.
If it doesn't work, it's physics.
Amelia:
Simply SUPERB. LOOOOLL!!
Thanks for the laugh. ;)
Romeesa-Chan:
--- Quote from: Symphony on August 28, 2011, 01:59:45 pm ---Simply SUPERB. LOOOOLL!!
Thanks for the laugh. ;)
--- End quote ---
:P
Glad to make you laugh! :D
Amelia:
~ For the Bio students. :P
What's hot on the tube this month?
What's out for the hottest new show on the Dizzy Channel.
A new dramatic series set in the hustle bustle world of high fashion
protein synthesis It's ...
ROUGH ER
See the drama of these hot young ribosomes as they fight to save proteins,
surrounded by the harsh and cruel reducing environment of the big
cytoplasm.
Watch as the mutilated remains of spliced and modified RNA come into the ER
to be transformed into hardy new proteins. Ready to take on anything the
extracellular environment can throw at them, as they go for the Golgi.
Stay tuned to your TV listings for where to tune for
ROUGH ER
(Sponsored by AAA, Amino Acids Anonymous)
----
Bio Personals.
~There must be a rational way to meet a date! I'm tired of hanging out in those molecular diversity bars, hoping to randomly bump into the right peptide. I want a molecule that will fit right into my active site and really turn me on. I'll send you my crystal structure if you send me
yours!
~Gene therapy graduate. After years of producing nothing but gibberish, I've shed my exons and am ready to express my introns. All I need is a cute vector to introduce me to the right host.
~My RNA, I'm sorry I misread your UAAUAAUAA and inserted three tyrosines when you repeatedly asked me to stop. Something got lost in the translation. Please forgive me.
Biology is so much more fun, now. :D
Romeesa-Chan:
--- Quote from: Galaxious on August 28, 2011, 04:31:54 pm ---
Biology is so much more fun, now. :D
--- End quote ---
Always loved it. <3
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