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~ Lesson 10 : Children >> Part 2

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Shoshou..Mony:


The following is part 2 continuing lesson 10 which speaks about Children. Half of it is written by Dr.Muhammed Al-Arifi from the book 'Enjoy Your Life', while the rest is taken from the internet and the life of the Prophet Muhammed pbuh. =]

How many incidents that occurred in our childhood days do we still remember up until today, be they happy or sad memories? Think about your childhood and no doubt you will remember the day you received a certificate of achievement at school, or when someone praised you in a public gathering, and so on. These are the sort of incidents that become imprinted in your memory such that you can never forget. We likewise remember the sad memories from our childhood, such as a teacher chastising us, or a fight with a classmate, or being humiliated by a family member. How often does the good treatment of children not only affect them but also their parents and families, and it earns their love and respect?

I once delivered a lecture about the importance of prayer to a group of children in a school. I asked them if anyone knew of a Hadeeth concerning the importance of prayer. One of the children responded saying, “The Prophet pbuh has said: “Between a man and disbelief and polytheism is to abandon the prayer.’’ I was so amazed by his response and his zeal that I instantly took off my watch and gave it to him, although, my watch wasn’t anythingnspecial. This incident encouraged the child to study more eagerly and memorise the Qur’an, since he had felt self-worth.

Years passed by, I went to a mosque and was astonished to discover that the Imam of the mosque was that same child. He had grown to become a fine young man who had graduated from the Shari’ah College, and was now working in a court. Although, I did not remember him, he had remembered me. Notice how love and respect developed in his heart due to a childhood incident.

I recall being invited to a wedding ceremony once where a bright young man approached me and greeted me very warmly, and then reminded me of his childhood memories of me when I came to his school to deliver a lecture. Sometimes we even notice children who have been treated kindly by someone bringing their parents to him or her and introducing them in the hope that the parents have the same love and respect for the man or woman that they do.

I would not hide the fact that I am very kind and welcoming of children. I make it a point to attentively listen to their sweet conversations, even though they are usually of no substance. In fact, sometimes I am extremely welcoming to them simply in order to win the hearts of their parents.

I used to meet a friend of mine every now and then who would have his son with him, and I would be extremely kind and playful with the son. One day, this friend of mine met me at a wedding party with this son. He greeted me and said, “What have you done to my son? His teacher at school asked his pupils what hey would like to be when they grow up. Some said doctors, others said engineers, but my son said: ‘I want to be Muhammad al-‘Arifi: You can sometimes notice the different ways in which people deal with children.

When a person enters a public gathering with his son, he shakes everyone’s hand one by one, while his son follows suit. Amongst the people are those who would completely ignore the child, others would barely shake his hand, and others would warmly shake his hand saying, “Welcome, young man! How are you today?” It is the love of that person that will be engraved in the heart of the child, as well as in the hearts of his parents.

The Prophet pbuh would display the best form of treatment with children. Anas bin Malik – may Allah be pleased with him – had a younger brother, and the Prophet pbuh would play with him and nickname him Abu ‘Umayr. The child had a small bird that he played with. Whenever the Prophet pbuh would meet him, he would joke with him saying, “O Abu ‘Umayr, what happened to al-Nughayr?” meaning, the bird. He would be kind and playful with children. Whenever he would meet Zaynab bint Umm Salamah, he would playfully say to her, “O Zuwaynib! O Zuwaynib!”

Whenever he passed by children playing, he would greet them. Whenever he visited the Ansaar, he would greet their children and place his hand on their heads out of compassion. Upon the return of the Muslim army from Mu’tah, the Prophet along with the rest of the Muslims and their children met them on their way back to Madinah. When the Prophet PBUH saw the children he said, “Take the children and carry them, and please pass me Ibn Ja’far.” They passed Abdullah bin Ja’far on to him and he held him in his arms.

One day as the Prophet PBUH was performing ablution, there came to him Mahmud bin al-Rabi’ who was only five years old. The Prophet pbuh took some water in his mouth and jokingly blew it out in his face. (al-Bukhari)

Generally, the Prophet pbuh was lively and merry with everyone. He would always try to make people happy. He would always be easygoing with  everyone so that people would not become bored in his company.

He was especially fond of children and used to get into the spirit of childish games in their company. He would have fun with the children who had come back from Abyssinia and tried to speak in Abyssinian with them. It was his practice to give lifts on his camel to children when he returned from journeys. (Bukhari, Sahih Bukhari, Vol. 2 p.886).

He would pick up children in his arms, play with them, and kiss them. A companion, recalling his childhood, said, "In my childhood I used to fell dates by throwing stones at palm trees. Somebody took me to the Prophet   who advised me to pick up the dates lying on the ground but not to fell them with stones. He then patted me and blessed me." (Abu Dawud)

Love shown to children is called “growth vitamin” by child psychology experts; because as a result of investigation and research, they have concluded that no kind of physical environment provided for a child or care shown can ever take the place of love.
On the other hand, in regard to socialization of the child, love that it has or has not seen plays a big role. When these realities are taken into consideration, it is obvious how important the love and interest the Prophet showed to children is from their perspective. The following examples of expressing love are manifestations of pure love in its most natural and plainest form that a father or grandfather can give a child.

Embracing: Recent studies made on the topic of people influencing one another demonstrate that physical touch is extremely effective. It is a fact that children who are still in the emotional development stage of childhood are perhaps most in need of love. It is foremost the duty of the parents to see that this need is sufficiently met. Many examples can be given on this subject from the Prophet’s life:
Anas relates:

“I never saw anyone more compassionate to his family than the Prophet. The wet nurse of his son Ibrahim lived in one of Medina’s border neighborhoods. The husband of the wet nurse was a blacksmith. Going there everyday to the smoke filled house, the Prophet would embrace, sniff and kiss the child” (Buhari, “Adab” 18; Muslim, “Fedail” 63).

As was the topic of many narrations of the Companions, the Prophet, sometimes going to Hasan and Hussein and sometime calling them to him, would embrace and kiss them (Buhari, “Fedailu’s-Sahabe” 22; Tirmizi, “Birr” 11; Ibn Mace, “Adab” 3). He was not only showing this behavior for his own children, but for all children.

A thought...
A child is like soft clay that we shape according to our treatment of it.

Romeesa-Chan:
EXCELLENT, Masha Allah. ;D
I LOVED IT. It was superb! *thumbs up*
WAllah, it brought me to tears! :-[
Keep up the great work!
JazakAllah khair<333
May Allah (SWT) bless you and guide you to the straight path, Insha Allah. :D

Shoshou..Mony:
This part is my favorite. It made me BELIEVE the importance of treating children well and that's why I underlined it. >> I used to meet a friend of mine every now and then who would have his son with him, and I would be extremely kind and playful with the son. One day, this friend of mine met me at a wedding party with this son. He greeted me and said, “What have you done to my son? His teacher at school asked his pupils what hey would like to be when they grow up. Some said doctors, others said engineers, but my son said: ‘I want to be Muhammad al-‘Arifi: You can sometimes notice the different ways in which people deal with children.

Thanks for reading Romeesa-chan! Your presence is all what I need to be happy. :D

Jazaka Allah khair. =]

Romeesa-Chan:
I LOVED it! =] It is simply AMAZING. ;D

Children are the pillars to the coming future generation! :D

They need to be built strong! =]

Alhamdulillah, I am more than honored to read such beautiful words and gain such useful knowledge! :D

JazakAllah khair fer sharing! =]

Shoshou..Mony:

--- Quote from: Jerry || Romeesa on August 04, 2011, 04:57:18 am ---I LOVED it! =] It is simply AMAZING. ;D

Children are the pillars to the coming future generation! :D

They need to be built strong! =]

Alhamdulillah, I am more than honored to read such beautiful words and gain such useful knowledge! :D

JazakAllah khair fer sharing! =]

--- End quote ---

Strong words and wise indeed. =]

I'm glad that was of benefit. I hope that those lessons are to be applied also in our real life not just read. This is what I have been doing since I bought Dr.Muhammed's book. I'm applying his lessons not just reading them. It feels great following the right path alhamdolilah. :D

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