How do you treat those who hurt you ?and how to overcome fear of NEW friendship?

[Alpha]

Being betrayed doesn't necessarily mean your being oppressed.

Exactly.

[$tyli$h Executive]

Are you oppressed? -.-

It depends on the extent to which i was betrayed. anyway to each their own.

[The Golden Girl =D]

SE : I do wish that but then I start thinking that one day they might realize their wrong doings and repent so I forgive them for not only that but for ME as well so that I get rid off the fire in my heart that keeps burning the tissues of my heart .. never mind the details LOL XD

[Alpha]

People hurt you. 3 possibilities:

1) They hurt you deliberately.
2) They hurt you involuntarily.
3) You think they hurt you when in fact they didn't.

And there is only one morale to retain:
Whichever of the 3 possibilities has taught you something.

Your role on Earth is just to grab the lesson and move on. Bad happens to everyone. But you shouldn't imitate it. Don't become what you hate.

[Amelia]

Ever wondered how would a life be without hurt, betrayal, anger, frustration, injustice?

1) I'm not going to be held accountable for what others did to me, I'm going to be asked on how I reacted to them. I'm going to be my normal self, indifferent to what they had done to me.

What are we going to get by revenge? Satisfaction? For how long? If you hurt those who hurt you, then what would be the difference between you and the villain?

2) Life will teach you one thing again and again. Never put complete faith on a fellow human, man is bound to err... (this goes towards religion but) you have only two friends "Allah, and those who remind you of Allah" These are the friendships that'll seldom hurt and last forever.

Actually, this is the thing everyone should do.

".....Beware of the supplication of the oppressed for there is no barrier between him and Allah......" - Prohpet (pbuh)

Dont you remember what the Prophet (saw) did when he went back from Madinah to Makkah and faced the oppressors again?

[M-H]

I think that when we humans can dare to do things against Allah, and His Deen, Islam and yet he forgives, then we are just merely humans and we should forgive everyone. I don't like grudges...and these days I am listening to this Duroos about our Prophet SAW and Allah, what he faced in his life in the beginning of Islam...I cried so much and felt so scared, thought I'd almost get sick. He was fighting for the truth and he still forgave, I am sure no one, at least not in today's world, we face anything as difficult as it was back then. If they were so great, then we should definitely learn from them and try to forgive and forget.

[The Golden Girl =D]

Well said M-H

[[Ash]]

Salam /Hola Everyone =D

I want everyone to participate in this cuz I want to know different perspective regarding the matter which makes it more beneficial than me just discussing it with my friends for example

I want to know those who took advantage of you , those who stabbed your back by backbiting you ,those who made you even doubt yourself ..etc How do you treat these people ? especially if you can't avoid them at all ?

And if someone developed some kind of 'Fear of NEW friendship" cuz He/She is  scared of "getting hurt and having to go through the Same pain all OVER again" kind of  mentality ? How do people with such ways of thinking CHANGE their thinking in order to live a Happy life full of Doubts NO MORE !

I'd love to listen to what you people have to say so please do the honor of the talking

Jazakom Allah khair/Thanks in Advance =D

wasalam..
as you want everyone to reply so ere i am too GG!

as others said, these are circumstances which everyone face in their life at some point in time. you simply can avoid people coming IN your life. as we socialize we do face all sort of people. its simply up to us, whom to let us in our life and whom to show an exit way..
similarly, we make friends on our own, depending on us .. what made us be close with them and why.. once they are your friends you gotta know are they just showing off, for the sake of or real ones.
real ones are real ones no matter what.. even if you meet them after years they'll be the same.. where as others are just temporarily.. and if they hurt you, stab you .. it doesn't matter to them.. sometimes they find all these sorta reasons and ways to leave you..
but some times as you said how to treat when you cant simply avoid them even.. this is the real tough one to handle .. because some times you cant say it on their face or punch them ... personally, i think to accept such a situation is the way out instead being frustrated and make your life hell just because of them... accept that yes they are like this!! and then try to leave them silently, ignore, or if they are willing then let them realize what they did. if you'll betray them, backstab, hurt etc then remember there is no difference between you and them then.

however, this is the very last step.. if you are not sure then dont let them so close to you or give them a chance to be with you like this.. people are sometimes (sometimes due to their circumstances) can be selfish to you
and this is how you can over come the fear.. you cant simply stop socializing as human is a social animal...

p.s, i also agree with what romeesa-chan, ameila, .... said

[Requiem_reborn]

How to treat those who hurt me?
I move on unless its by a best friend in which case i would be devastated and expect him/her to come clean and apologize

to overcome fear? get off face book