Qualification > Languages

Argumentative OR Descriptive? Please help.........

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@d!_†oX!©:
Well, if you really want a good response, simply post a paragraph each for both descriptive and narrative piece that you have written. We've got lots of people here, A* and A's of FLE(me being one of them  ;) ) who could judge for you.  ::)

AshWINNER:
Thanks guys......
Heres my introduction for a discursive piece I did last assessment.
The topic was:"Prejudice is one of the most destructive forces in society today."Discuss what you think and feel about this statement.

Prejudice was one of the bugs which escaped Pandora's box. Since then it has flourished. It has probably made the most progress out of all of the bugs;causing death,wars and division; and it has been eating away mankind for ages. However, the situation has been improving. With an increase in globalisation, slavery on the basis of skin color, religious wars, and gender inequality are less severe as compared to the past.
I got 18/25 for this one

Here's my introduction for a descriptive piece i did the assessment before that. I had to describe the situation that occurred when my neighbor asked me to look after her young baby when she went to the grocery store.

He was no more than three. His toothy grin and his slant eyebrows were enough to make him look the sort which Santa keeps on "The Bad List". he had a fluorescent green Post-it stuck on his forehead which made his entry look similar to the great Harry Potter's. I instantly felt sympathy for poor Aunt Petunia.

adrian1993:
For you, definitely descriptive.

No offense, but your argumentative introduction comes across as abit disjointed. It doesn't quite flow well. Introductions to argumentative essays should be concise, strong and accurate with your stand stated early in your introduction.

I am not trying to demean you or anything, but I did argumentative writing through Year 10 and Yr 11 since I was a debater and find descriptive texts a tad difficult to write. I got A* for EFL recently. =D

@d!_†oX!©:

--- Quote from: adrian1993 on September 06, 2010, 09:28:38 am ---For you, definitely descriptive.

No offense, but your argumentative introduction comes across as abit disjointed. It doesn't quite flow well. Introductions to argumentative essays should be concise, strong and accurate with your stand stated early in your introduction.

I am not trying to demean you or anything, but I did argumentative writing through Year 10 and Yr 11 since I was a debater and find descriptive texts a tad difficult to write. I got A* for EFL recently. =D



--- End quote ---
Every word so true.
I agree with adrian, you are definitely in for descriptive mate. I think that should be your preferred choice. :)

Dibss:
^Agreed.
Your descriptive could use a little work too though :/ Instead of being content with your current standard, continue practicing (:

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